EPISODE 36: I'M 2.5 YEARS SOBER! NIK SHEASBY'S STORY OF ADDICTION AND RECOVERY

EPISODE 36: I'M 2.5 YEARS SOBER! NIK SHEASBY'S STORY OF ADDICTION AND RECOVERY

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Hello friends and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

Today on the podcast I have invited fellow podcaster Nik Sheesby to come on the podcast and share his story of alcohol addiction recovery.

Nik is 2.5 years sober and has a crazy story of addiction, sobriety, mental health and self empowerment all while working in the music industry for some of the biggest bands in the world.


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For those who don’t know Nik, he is the host of The Beautifully Human podcast which I was graciously invited to be a guest on recently! Listen to our episode by clicking here!

The Beautifully Human podcast is a collection of stories and conversations that Nik has with beautiful humans all around the world with the aim to reveal the power in everyones story though spreading love, vulnerability and all that makes us human.

Today on the podcast we are going to be talking about Nik’s life, what it was like growing up in Ohio, his rebellious teenage years, how he started working in the music industry for some of the biggest bands in the world, his struggles with alcohol addiction, his near death experience, treatment, sobriety, mental health and self empowerment.

To learn more about Nik Sheasby - CLICK HERE

I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did! Feel free to leave your thought below!

Also, special thanks to Mattias Friberg for composing the music for this podcast and perfecting my sound!


- CHECK OUT NIK’S PODCAST! -


- Where To Find Nik Online -


INSTAGRAM @TheBeautifullyHumanPodcast
WEBSITE
https://www.wanderlustmoonduo.com/
PODCAST
The Beautifully Human Podcast
LINK Tree
inktr.ee/beautifullyhuman



Follow The @IsThatSohPodcast On Instagram!


If you have any questions about this episode, a sobriety success story or comments about addiction recovery, feel free to leave them below!


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EPISODE 33: THE COMPLEX EFFECTS OF TRAUMA WITH DR. CHRISTIAN HEIM

EPISODE 33: THE COMPLEX EFFECTS OF TRAUMA WITH DR. CHRISTIAN HEIM

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Hello friends and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

Today on the podcast, I have invited award-winning Psychiatrist and Music Professor Dr. Christian Heim to come on the podcast and talk to us about the complex effects of trauma, trauma symptoms, the causes of trauma, types of trauma, and trauma recovery/how we can overcome it.

With over 20 years of clinical experience, Dr. Heim speaks from a place of deep compassion and authority on Mental Health. Anxiety, depression, addictions, trauma, suicide, personality issues, and relationship breakdown are all common themes in his line of work, and his latest book "The 7 Types of Love: navigating love in a fractured world" was created with the hopes of helping people better understand and connect with each other.


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Today on the podcast we are going to be talking about the complex effects of trauma, what happens when a person experiences trauma, trauma symptoms, the causes of trauma, types of trauma ( ie physical trauma, childhood trauma, psychological trauma), how the body holds on to trauma, triggers, window of tolerance, and trauma recovery / how to heal from trauma.

To learn more about Dr. Christian Heim - CLICK HERE

I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did! Feel free to leave your thought below!

Also, special thanks to Mattias Friberg for composing the music for this podcast and perfecting my sound!


- TYPES OF TRAUMA -

Emotional Trauma / Psychological Trauma - is the result of extraordinarily stressful events that shatter your sense of security, making you feel helpless in a dangerous world. Psychological trauma can leave you struggling with upsetting emotions, memories, and anxiety that won't go away.

Childhood Trauma - often described as serious adverse childhood experiences, childhood trauma could include neglect, abandonment, sexual abuse, physical abuse, and witnessing abuse of a sibling or parent.

Physical Trauma - a serious injury to the body. Two main types of physical trauma are:

  • Blunt force trauma—when an object or force strikes the body, often causing concussions, deep cuts, or broken bones.

  • Penetrating trauma—when an object pierces the skin or body, usually creating an open wound.

Generational Trauma - trauma that isn't just experienced by one person but extends from one generation to the next (ie psychological distress experienced by children and grandchildren of Holocaust survivors)

Complex Trauma - Complex trauma commonly occurs with repeated trauma against a child. Sometimes a parent or caregiver has experienced their own trauma, which is still affecting them e.g. from mental illness, drugs and alcohol misuse, or being physically or emotionally unavailable. Many situations can cause complex trauma in childhood however not all complex trauma is based in a persons childhood and can be a result of experiences of violence in the community, domestic and family violence, civil unrest, war trauma or genocide, refugee and asylum seeker trauma, sexual exploitation and trafficking, extreme medical trauma and/or re-traumatisation.

Collective Trauma or Mass Trauma - a psychological reaction to a traumatic event shared by any group of people and can affect even an entire society. Covid is an example of a collective trauma.

Betrayal Trauma - trauma perpetrated by someone with whom the victim is close to and reliant upon for support and survival.


- TRAUMA SYMPTOMS -

trauma symptoms

- ADDITIONAL RESOURCES -

The 7 Love Types: Navigating love in a fractured world.

We live in a fractured world: pandemics, economic upheavals, mental illness, screen addiction, loneliness, alienation & separation. We look for love, get confused, get hurt and lose love. More than ever, we need better relationships with family, friends, love partners, and even strangers. Do we even understand love? Or the different love types? Science and Ancient Ideas can help us know love more, show love more, and secure it in our lives.


- Where To Find Dr. Heim Online -


INSTAGRAM @drchristianheim
WEBSITE
www.drchristianheim.com
YOUTUBE
Dr. Christian Heim


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If you have any comments or questions about the complex effects of trauma, what happens when a person experiences trauma, trauma symptoms, the causes of trauma, types of trauma ( ie physical trauma, childhood trauma, psychological trauma), how the body holds on to trauma, triggers, window of tolerance, and trauma recovery / how to heal from trauma, feel free to leave them below! I hope you enjoyed this episode and I look forward to sharing more episodes soon!


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EPISODE 27: AMELIA ZACHRY'S STORY OF HEALING AND LIVING WITH BIPOLAR

EPISODE 27: AMELIA ZACHRY'S STORY OF HEALING AND LIVING WITH BIPOLAR

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Hello Friends and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

Today on the podcast, I have invited author and mental health advocate Amelia Zachry to come and share her incredibly vulnerable and moving story.

Amelia’s story is one of sexual assault, mental illness, suicide ideations, relationship struggles, motherhood and healing. It is a story that when I first heard it, moved me at my core and I knew as soon as she was done sharing it, that such a story needed to be amplified if we are going to help end the stigma around mental health and put a stop to rape culture.

TRIGGER WARNING: Topics discussed in today’s episode could be triggering. In the case that you are triggered, please reach out to your local helpline. To quickly find the number to your local helpline you can go to Check Point Org.


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Today on the podcast we are going to be talking about sexual assault, mental illness, bipolar disorder suicide ideations, relationship struggles, motherhood and healing.

To learn more about Amelia Zachry contact her at https://ameliazachry.com/

I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did! Feel free to leave your thought below!

Also, special thanks to Mattias Friberg for composing the music for this podcast and perfecting my sound!


- ADDITIONAL RESOURCES -

1) National Institute of Mental Health - Shareable Resources on Bipolar Disorder

2) CAMH - Mood Stabilizing Medication

3) CAMH - When a Parent Has Bipolar Disorder ...What kids want to know


- Where To Find Amelia Zachry Online -


INSTAGRAM @browngirlcrazyworld
WEBSITE
https://ameliazachry.com/
FACEBOOK @browngirlcrazyworld


Follow The @IsThatSohPodcast On Instagram!


If you have any comments or questions about this episode, feel free to leave them below


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EPISODE 23: FINDING YOUR IDENTITY WITH TOSIN ODUGBEMI

EPISODE 23: FINDING YOUR IDENTITY WITH TOSIN ODUGBEMI

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Hello Friends and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

Today on the podcast I have invited visual designer and founder of Tosin Odugbemi Design, Tosin Odugbemi, to come on the podcast and share her story of growing up as the only black immigrant in a small suburb of Edmonton, how she overcame her struggles around finding her identity and how she now helps others find and execute theirs visually through branding and design.

Tosin, for those who don’t know her, is a visual designer and an academic who is passionate about crafting a beautiful, intentional and thoughtful life. Her goal is to assist others in their design and branding journeys by helping them to realize their vision through creating bespoke and timeless visual designs for them. With a conscientious eye for observing details, Tosin studies forms, textures, colors, fit and function, and is sensitive to harmony or lack thereof. Her visual imagination has been thoroughly trained through years of design education which has now led her to be able to assist clients in telling their stories visually too.


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Today on the podcast we are going to be talking about growing up as an immigrant and what struggles come with it in regards to finding your identity, what a third culture kid is, and Tosin’s journey of healing and self-discovery which allowed her to explore her talents and identity with harmony.

To learn more about Tosin contact her at www.oluwatosin.net

I hope you enjoy this episode on finding your identity, finding your life purpose, and finding your voice as much as I did! Feel free to leave your thought below!

Also, special thanks to Mattias Friberg for composing the music for this podcast and perfecting my sound!


- ADDITIONAL RESOURCES -

Third Culture Kids - In this 3rd edition of the ground-breaking global classic, Ruth E. Van Reken and Michael V. Pollock, son of the late original co-author, David C. Pollock, have significantly updated what is widely recognized as "The TCK Bible." Emphasis is on the modern TCK and addressing the impact of technology, cultural complexity, diversity and inclusion and transitions. Includes new advice for parents and others for how to support TCKs as they navigate work, relationships, social settings and their own personal development.



- Where To Find Tosin Online -


INSTAGRAM @TosinOdugbemi
WEBSITE
www.oluwatosin.net
FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/oluwatosinodugbemidesign


Follow The @IsThatSohPodcast On Instagram!


If you have any comments or questions about this episode on finding your self, finding your purpose and, finding your voice, feel free to leave them below


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EPISODE 22: THE TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS OF SOCIAL MEDIA WITH JESSICA MANN

EPISODE 22: THE TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS OF SOCIAL MEDIA WITH JESSICA MANN

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Hello Friends and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

Today on the podcast I have a dear friend and absolute powerhouse of a woman joining me, Jessica Mann AKA The Blonde Mann.

For those who don’t know Jessica, she is a beauty and lifestyle creator on Instagram who also currently resides in Toronto. Guided by vulnerability, Jessica connects with her audience through authentic storytelling and creating raw beauty tutorials. She’s also one of the funniest people I know! So, even if you don’t share the same love for makeup, her personality is hard to resist and you can’t help but be drawn to her.

Further, Jessica also knows the importance of building beauty from the inside out and strives to create a community built on trust, long-lasting internet friendship, vulnerability, and realness.

The reason why I asked Jessica to come on the podcast is because she, like me, knows what it’s like to get wrapped up in social media and the toxic dangers that can come from it. Since she is also an advocate of mental health I thought she would make a great guest to talk about the impact of social media and have a depression chat.

I have shared previously on the podcast about my struggles with playing the comparison game and putting my self worth and value into the hands of others and I know she’s no stranger to those destructive patterns and the negative impacts of social media as well.

Today on the podcast we are going to be talking about Jessica and I’s a personal experience with the effects of social media on our mental health, the trials and tribulations of cultivating a better relationship with social media, and the importance of self-love.

To learn more about Jessica, check out her YouTube channel HERE.

I hope you enjoy this episode about the negative effects of social media and how to cultivate a better relationship with it as much as I did! Feel free to leave your thought below and share how you are being an advocate of mental health in your community!

Also, special thanks to Mattias Friberg for composing the music for this podcast and perfecting my sound!


- Where To Find Jessica Online -


INSTAGRAM @theblodnemann
WEBSITE
www.theblondemann.com
YOUTUBE @theblondemann


Follow The @IsThatSohPodcast On Instagram!


If you have any comments or questions about this episode on the impact and negative effects of social media , feel free to leave them below!


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EPISODE 21: STEPPING INTO YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF WITH KARA LATTA

EPISODE 21: STEPPING INTO YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF WITH KARA LATTA

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Hello Friends and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

Today on the podcast I have invited Kara Latta, Founder and Chief Fun Officer of The Playful Warrior and the Creator of ThoughtPLAY, to come on the podcast and share with us some tips and advice on how to step into and fully embrace our authentic selves.

Kara, for those who don’t know her, helps people embody and express their true self through the power of play and subconscious reprogramming. Through her ThoughtPLAY program, Kara takes clients on an incredible 8-week PLAY journey to reconnect with your inherent nature, uninhibited creativity and infinite possibilities.

Today on the podcast we are going to be talking about shadow work, the importance of playfulness, connecting with your inner child and reprogramming of the subconscious mind.

To learn more about Kara’s ThoughtPLAY program or contact her at www.ThePlayfulWarrior.com

I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did! Feel free to leave your thought below!

Also, special thanks to Mattias Friberg for composing the music for this podcast and perfecting my sound!


- Recommended Resources -

Lonerwolf - a modern hub for down-to-earth spiritual seekers. Our philosophy is to walk the path less traveled and listen to your soul's calling.


- Meet My Inner Child -

When I requested to meet my inner child, 5 year old me from Montalcino, Tuscany showed up. A happy, innocent, playful child who loves life, is always smiling and just wants to be friends.


- Where To Find Kara Online -


INSTAGRAM @ThePlayfulWarrior
WEBSITE www.ThePlayfulWarrior.com


Follow The @IsThatSohPodcast On Instagram!


If you have any comments or questions about this episode, feel free to leave them below


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EPISODE 20: HOW TO OVERCOME YOUR QUARTER-LIFE CRISIS WITH TESS BRIGHAM

EPISODE 20: HOW TO OVERCOME YOUR QUARTER-LIFE CRISIS WITH TESS BRIGHAM

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Hello Friends and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

Today on the podcast I have invited Tess Brigham (LMFT, BCC) to come on and teach us how to overcome the quarter-life crisis!

For those who don’t know Tess, she is a Licensed Psychotherapist and Board-Certified Coach that specializes in helping Millennials discover their unique life path so they can go out into the world and make an impact.

At age 27, Tess seemed to have it all as a top Hollywood junior talent manager. But on the inside, things felt empty and pointless. She took a huge risk, quit her job, and rebuilt a career and life she loved. Now she helps other early-career professionals navigate the same quarter-life crisis process.

With over 15 years of experience, Tess has helped thousands of people find their purpose, develop their confidence and create a life they’re excited about living. Identifying your issues is one thing, taking action to get past them is another. Tess’s rare combination of being a trained psychotherapist and a certified coach make her uniquely qualified to help young adults find clarity so they can confidently discover their path and make an impact on the world.

She has been featured on the TV show “The Doctors” and is a regular contributor at CNBC as “The Millennial Therapist.” She has also been a featured Millennial expert at NBC News, Oprah Magazine, MindBodyGreen, Yahoo News, USA Today, Mic, Real Simple, Chicago Tribune, Huff Post, Brit & Co, Bustle, She Knows, Primer Magazine, GenTwenty, I Am & Co, Chelsea Krost, Insider, Creative Global, Thrive Global and Thought Catalog.

Today on the podcast we are going to be talking about decisive decision making, embracing your journey and filling your life with purpose.

To learn more about Tess’s Find Your Path Course or contact her at Www.TessBrigham.Com

I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did! Feel free to leave your thought below!

Also, special thanks to Mattias Friberg for composing the music for this podcast and perfecting my sound!


- Recommended Readings -

The path to personal and professional fulfillment is rarely straight. Ask anyone who has achieved his or her biggest goals or whose relationships thrive and you’ll hear stories of many unexpected detours along the way. What separates those who master these challenges and those who get derailed? The answer is agility—emotional agility.

Emotional agility is a revolutionary, science-based approach that allows us to navigate life’s twists and turns with self-acceptance, clear-sightedness, and an open mind. Renowned psychologist Susan David developed this concept after studying emotions, happiness, and achievement for more than twenty years. She found that no matter how intelligent or creative people are, or what type of personality they have, it is how they navigate their inner world—their thoughts, feelings, and self-talk—that ultimately determines how successful they will become.


In this must-read book for anyone striving to succeed, pioneering psychologist Angela Duckworth shows parents, educators, athletes, students, and business people-both seasoned and new-that the secret to outstanding achievement is not talent but a focused persistence called “grit.”

Why do some people succeed and others fail? Sharing new insights from her landmark research on grit, MacArthur “genius” Angela Duckworth explains why talent is hardly a guarantor of success. Rather, other factors can be even more crucial such as identifying our passions and following through on our commitments.


- Where To Find Tess Online -


INSTAGRAM @Tess_bringham
WEBSITE Www.TessBrigham.Com
TWITTER
@MFTTess
FACEBOOK
Tess Brigham Coaching


Follow The @IsThatSohPodcast On Instagram!


If you have any comments or questions about this episode, feel free to leave them below


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EPISODE 19: HOW TO MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP THRIVE WITH LEISSE WILCOX

EPISODE 19: HOW TO MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP THRIVE WITH LEISSE WILCOX

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Hello Friends and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

Today on the podcast I have invited Leisse Wilcox, a master mindset + success coach who is changing the global conversation on emotional health and self-love, to come on the podcast and impart her wisdom on how to make your relationship thrive!

Leisse, if you have never heard of her, is a passionate speaker, dynamic thought leader, author, NLP practitioner, top podcast host, cancer survivor, mom of three, and taco enthusiast. Her entire experience has been about coming home to her truest self and calling herself “beloved,” knowing intimately that changing the world starts by making the changes we want to see within ourselves first. 

She is also a TEDx speaker, the bestselling author of "To Call Myself Beloved: a Story of Hope, Healing, and Coming Home," and can be found on Season 2 of Amazon Prime’s The Social Movement.

Today on the podcast we are going to be talking about Feminine and Masculin energies, love languages, the impacts of covid, triggers that can arise during the holidays, self-soothing techniques, and how to find the courage to step into your authentic self.

To learn more about Leisse, work with her privately, or check out her online courses, you can contact her at LeisseWilcox.com.

I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did! Feel free to leave your thought below!

Also, special thanks to Mattias Friberg for composing the music for this podcast and perfecting my sound!



- Breaking Down Feminine and Masculine Energies -

Feminine Energies - Your feminine side gets expressed when you move with the flow of life, embrace your creative energy, dance, play, and attune to your internal process.

Masculine Energies - Your masculine side gets expressed when you're working toward a goal, making progress, getting things done, and pushing forward.

Screen Shot 2020-11-09 at 6.47.10 PM.png

- Understanding Love Languages -

Dr. Gary Chapman, the grandfather of love languages, first outlined in his book ‘The 5 Love Languages”, five general ways romantic partners express and experience love. They are acts of service, gift-giving, physical touch, quality time, and words of affirmation.

Falling in love is easy. Staying in love—that’s the challenge! How can you keep your relationship fresh and growing amid the demands, conflicts, and just plain boredom of everyday life?

In the #1 New York Times bestseller The 5 Love Languages, you’ll discover the secret that has transformed millions of relationships worldwide. Whether your relationship is flourishing or failing, Dr. Gary Chapman’s proven approach to showing and receiving love will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your partner—starting today.

The 5 Love Languages is as practical as it is insightful. Updated to reflect the complexities of relationships today, this new edition reveals intrinsic truths and applies relevant, actionable wisdom in ways that work.


- Purchase Leisse’s Best Selling Book! -

This is a story of coming home to yourself. To Call Myself Beloved: A Story of Hope, Healing, and Coming Home offers the permission you’ve been looking for to simply be yourself and accept that with courage, pride, and grace. It really is that simple, even if it is that complicated. Too many of us are tethered to the expectations of other people, living with the feeling that we need to look outside ourselves to feel whole and loved, that we need to keep “the mask” on and hide who we really are; we read book after book, see therapist after therapist, take course after course, all with the intent to “fix what’s broken,” sending us on a quest to continuously solve a problem that isn’t real with a solution that doesn’t exist. And it leaves us dissatisfied, constantly wanting more. The secret is, we’re not broken, we are healing. We are learning to sort through the messages of what we’ve been told are true versus what we believe to be true, and we are figuring out how it aligns with what we want out of our life. Equal parts self-help, memoir, and cozied up on the couch talking to a trusted friend, To Call Myself Beloved is informed by lessons learned through navigating the most cataclysmic events of one woman’s life, and realizing throughout each one that “I am still okay.” Let this book guide you through the process of adulting—finding clarity in what you want, confidence in who you are, and the courage to stay true to both, even if that means making big changes in mindset and behavior—simply through the rebellious act of being yourself. This is the chaos of becoming. Can you love yourself enough to come home to yourself, and learn to call yourself beloved? Yes, you f*cking can.


- Where To Find Leisse Online -


INSTAGRAM @LeisseWilcox
COACHING WEBSITE
LeisseWilcox.com
PODCAST
To Call Myself Beloved
PINTEREST
@LeisseWilcox


Follow The @IsThatSohPodcast On Instagram!


If you have any comments or questions about this episode, feel free to leave them below


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EPISODE 18: TOXIC FRIENDSHIPS WITH YASMIN ELZOMOR

EPISODE 18: TOXIC FRIENDSHIPS WITH YASMIN ELZOMOR

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Hello Friends and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

Today on the podcast I have invited content creator and life coach Yasmin Elzomor to come on the show to discuss toxic friendships.

Everyone goes through a situation at some point in their life where they have to ‘break up’ with a friend. Maybe there was some buildup resentment that caused it or maybe things became competitive or some jealousy started to bubble up in the relationship. Perhaps one of you had a secret crush that was never reciprocated or maybe it’s as simple as two people growing apart and wanting different things.

Often times, when we find ourselves in these situations we get stuck in this cycles of hanging on to people we should walk away from because either you or they hold onto the memories of good times, the hope that whatever is happening is just a phase that will pass or because ‘you’ve just known each other for so damn long’ and that alone brings you some form of comfort.

People grow apart though. People evolve and it’s okay to let go of people, especially when those friendships become toxic and no longer serve you the way they used to.

Realizing that you need to let go of a friendship can be a hard pill to swallow but there’s a great saying that I love to share with people when they find themselves in that situation and it goes like this,

“People enter our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime and we only get disappointed by them when try to force the relationships beyond its purpose.”

So that is why I thought I’d discuss this topic with Yasmin and have her share some of her wisdom and insights on how to identify red flags as well as what to do when you find yourself in a toxic friendship.

Yasmin Elzomor is a NYC-based Life + Manifestation Coach that specializes in relationships, helping others manifest their ideal life by teaching the importance of shadow work and facing the challenges that blog us from stepping into our power. She believes that having passion, drive, motivation and the right mindset will allow you to take control of your life and step confidently into your power.

After hitting her rock bottom, that transformational journey gave her the calling to help others connect with their pain, find the power, and attract healthier relationships. In the past couple years, she has gained a large following on Instagram and aspires to influence and inspire others to walk the walk; not just talk the talk. Yasmin specializes in issues like the influence that Social Media has made on society and relationships, boundaries, and manifestation.

I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did! Feel free to leave your thought below!

Also, special thanks to Mattias Friberg for composing the music for this podcast and perfecting my sound!


- Toxic Friendship Red Flags -

- boundaries are being disregarded
- being disrespected
- inconsistencies in the friendship
- codependency
- jealousy
- competitiveness
- belittling and putting you down
- are patronizing
- not supportive of your success
- gossip
- can sincerely apologize
- makes you feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells
- leave you unsettled
- putting their needs front and center

- Healthy Friendship Signs -

- open communication
- quality time
- mutual respect
- listening without judgment
- making shared decisions
- feeling accepted
- feeling safe around each other

- Effects Toxic Friendships Have On Your Mental Health -

- Drained after talking to them/hanging out with them
- effect your sense of identity
- ruin your self esteem
- bring on anxiety and depression

- Narcissism Red Flags -

- lack of empathy
- controlling behavior
- complete disregard for needs and boundaries
- intense lying
- gaslighting
- subtle manipulation


-Additional Resources -

  1. Codependent No More by Melody Beattie - Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to someone else's, you may be codependent--and you may find yourself in this book--Codependent No More.The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America's best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life.

    With instructive life stories, personal reflections, exercises, and self-tests, Codependent No More is a simple, straightforward, readable map of the perplexing world of codependency--charting the path to freedom and a lifetime of healing, hope, and happiness.


- Where To Find Yasmin Online -


PERSONAL INSTAGRAM @yasminelzomor
COACHING INSTAGRAM
@theyasminelzomor
PODCAST
Humanity Feels


Follow The @IsThatSohPodcast On Instagram!


If you have any comments or questions about this episode, feel free to leave them below


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EPISODE 17: MOOD BOOSTERS WITH ANDY DE SANTIS

EPISODE 17: MOOD BOOSTERS WITH ANDY DE SANTIS

Hello Friends and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

Today on the podcast I have invited dietitian, blogger, and author Andy De Santis to come on the show and share with us some of the latest research around mood boosters.

‘Mood boosters’ for those who have never heard the term, are supplements that you can take to help boost your mental health. They are in no way ‘a quick fix’ or ‘the solution to all your problems’ but they can be a great way to further support your health and overall wellness routine.

I first became interested in talking with Andy after he approached me with some new research around the power of Omega 3’s and their potential in helping reduce anxiety, and I thought, ‘wouldn’t it be great to have him on the show to talk about mood boosters and share with us some of the latest research within that realm.’

Personally, I dabbled with different mood boosters like Vitamin D and CBD, and have found them both to be very helpful when it comes to my anxiety and depression, but I have never really looked into the research and findings behind clinical trials. Further, I know from one of our previous episodes that there is research linking the state of your gut health to depression so I’m not surprised by the possible potential of omega 3’s and how our diet can impact the state of our mental health.

Andy is a private practice dietitian, blogger, and author from Toronto, Canada. He graduated from the University of Toronto School Of Public Health and holds a master's degree in public health nutrition. Having written six books, Andy's interests in the world of nutrition are far-reaching and include the interaction between specific nutrients and mental health. When he isn't writing or helping people one on one, Andy loves nothing more than to crack a few food-inspired jokes on his Instagram account.

I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did! Feel free to leave your thought below!

Also, special thanks to Mattias Friberg for composing the music for this podcast and perfecting my sound!



- Where To Find Andy Online -

WEBSITE andytherd.com
INSTAGRAM @andytherd
AMAZON AUTHOR PAGE
amazon.com/author/andyrd


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If you have any comments or questions about this episode, feel free to leave them below


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EPISODE 16: #BLACKLIVESMATTER, WHITE PRIVILEGE AND HOW TO BE A BETTER ALLY WITH SARAFINA ARTHUR WILLIAMS

EPISODE 16: #BLACKLIVESMATTER, WHITE PRIVILEGE AND HOW TO BE A BETTER ALLY WITH SARAFINA ARTHUR WILLIAMS 

Hello Friends and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

Today on the podcast I have invited wellness psychologist and founder of Intentional Simplicity, Sarafina Arthur Williams to come on and educate us on the state of mental health in the BIPOC community, what white privilege is and how we can use it to help people of colour by being better allies.

The reason why I ask Sarafina to come on the show was because, even prior to the Black Lives Matter Protest this past summer and the death of George Floyd, I had listened to one or two conversations around white privilege and how to have conversations with people in marginalized groups about race, but it wasn’t until I sat back, muted myself and actively started to listen, that I notice how ignorant I was to ‘the black experience’, their history of oppression and injustice, and the place they hold on social media.

As someone who has black friends and even black relatives, I admit I have never tried to have conversations with them around race but this experience made me realize that maybe I should.

Even after examining my own social media feed, which was filled with predominant white faces it also made me ask myself, ‘How I expect to learn more about people in marginalized groups if I don’t show interest in people’s experiences that are different then my own.’

Further, since I have a particular interest in mental health, it worried me how, with all that is going on in the world, the BIPOC community is doing in terms of taking care of their mental health and if they are even able to get the help they need because:
1) you usually have to pay out of pocket for anything mental health related which can be a deterrent or barrier to seeking help and,
2) less than 2 % of mental health care practitioners are Black or African American and how can you expect those who need help to get proper help when those available to give it aren’t culturally competent enough to treat and understand specific issues as they relate to the black experience.

And so that is why I wanted Sarafina to come on and talk with us, because not only has she lived the black experience but she is a masters level psychologist who can relay her first hand insights and experience of growing up in the black community along with knowledge on the state of it’s mental health.

Sarafina Arthur-Williams is the CEO and founder of Intentional Simplicity LLC, a wellness-based mental health private practice. As a wellness psychologist and creative consultant, she educates her clients and mental health practitioners about positive psychology, art therapy, and the value of wellness and mindfulness. She is ranked on Feedspot’s top psychology bloggers of 2020 and features as a guest speaker on a variety of mental health platforms. To encourage sustainability, Sarafina documents how she practices wellness in her daily life through her online presence.

I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did! Feel free to leave your thought below!

Also, special thanks to Mattias Friberg for composing the music for this podcast and perfecting my sound!


- BIPOC Mental Health Statistics -

  • Black and African American teenagers are more likely to attempt suicide than White teenagers (9.8 percent v. 6.1 percent).

  • 16% (4.8 million) of Black and African American people reported having a mental illness, and 22.4% (1.1 million people) reported a serious mental illness over the past year.

  • Serious mental illness (SMI) rose among all ages of Black and African American people between 2008 and 2018.

  • Binge drinking, smoking (cigarettes and marijuana), illicit drug use and prescription pain reliever misuse are more frequent among Black and African American adults with mental illnesses.

  • Black and African American people are more often diagnosed with schizophrenia and less often diagnosed with mood disorders compared to white people with the same symptoms.
    Additionally, they are offered medication or therapy at the lower rates than the general population.

  • Black and African American people are over-represented in our jails and prisons. Black and
    African American people make up 13 percent of the general U.S. population, but nearly 40 percent of the prison population. In 2016, the imprisonment rate for Black and African American men (2,417 per 100,000 Black male residents) was more than 6 times greater than that for white men (401 per 100,000 white male residents) and the imprisonment rate for Black and African American women (97 per 100,000 Black and African American female residents) was almost double that for white women (49 per 100,000 white female residents). [13] Black and African American people with mental health conditions, specifically those involving psychosis, are more likely to be in jail or prison than people of other races.

  • Because less than 2 percent of American Psychological Association members are Black or African American

  • 11.5 percent of Black and African Americans, versus 7.5 percent of white Americans were still uninsured in 2018.

  • In 2018, 58.2 % of Black and African American young adults 18-25 and 50.1 % of adults 26-49 with serious mental illness did NOT receive treatment

- Stats From Mental Health America - https://www.mhanational.org/issues/black-and-african-american-communities-and-mental-health



- Where To Find Sarafina Online -

WEBSITE Www.LiveIntentionallySimplistic.Com
INSTAGRAM @intentional_simplicity_llc
FACEBOOK
@intentionalsimplicityllc


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EPISODE 15: HOW TO HAVE HARD CONVERSATIONS

EPISODE 15: HOW TO HAVE HARD CONVERSATIONS

* Please Note - Some links in this post may be affiliate links *

Hello Friends and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

For today’s episode, I thought I would do a little solo show and talk about one theme that I feel has been brought up time and time again throughout the first half of this season. They are situation that occurs in everyone’s life where tough topics need to be discussed and although we may hate to have discussions about them, they are a necessary part of life. So that is why I thought I’d devote today’s episode to developing a playbook oh how to make having them a little bit easier.

If you hate conflict and avoid it as much as possible, know that you are not alone. According to a Harvard Business Review, 67% of managers are uncomfortable talking to the people they manage - and that’s literally their job. However, it is important to understand that conflict avoidance robs you of your energy, power, and emotional freedom, and does not serve you in any way which is why learning how to get conformable having hard conversations is the only way to find relief from a stressful situation!

I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did! Feel free to leave your thought below!

Also, special thanks to Mattias Friberg for composing the music for this podcast and perfecting my sound!


- Episode Recap -

  1. Learning to sit with yourself and comb through your thoughts - be honest with yourself and acknowledge the need for the conversations

  2. Prep!

    • define your ideal outcome

    • rehearse with a friend

    • choose your language wisely

    • watch your body language

  3. Set ground rules

    • allow each other time to speak while the other listens - no interrupting!

    • name calling, throwing objects, and swearing are off-limits

    • allow time out or the ability to initiate a pauses

  4. Be okay with possibly being wrong - You may have misinterpreted the situation or have the wrong information and therefore things aren’t as black and white as you may have originally thought, and that’s okay.

  5. Be honest and straightforward - use specific examples making sure to watch your tone and the words you use so you don't come off accusatory.

  6. Acknowledge your responsibilities and avoidance in dealing with the conflict sooner

  7. Be empathetic, listen and validate - this doesn’t mean you have to agree or change the point you are trying to make, it just makes them feel like they are an even playing field and are able to be heard too.

  8. Make sure not to:

    • dominate the conversation

    • jump in to fill silence

    • interrupt when they are talking

  9. If the conversation starts going sideways, reiterate the reason why you are having the conversation - to maintain mutual respect and problem solve so you can improve the relationship and both of your lives.

  10. It’s okay to disappoint people

    • set boundaries if you need to

  11. Stick to your target - as you near the end of the conversation restate your point and offer a possible solution

    • brainstorm steps together on how to achieve the solution

  12. Ask questions to make sure they understood everything discussed



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EPISODE 14: HOW ELLIA MARCUM FOUND HER STRENGTH TO DEAL WITH THE AMBIGUOUS LOSS OF HER FATHER, AN ALCOHOLIC MOTHER, AND WORK THROUGH HER HUSBANDS MARITAL AFFAIR

EPISODE 14: HOW ELLIA MARCUM FOUND HER STRENGTH TO DEAL WITH THE AMBIGUOUS LOSS OF HER FATHER, AN ALCOHOLIC MOTHER AND WORK THROUGH HER HUSBANDS MARITAL AFFAIR

Hello Friends and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

Today, I have invited mother, wife, daughter and certified mental health coach Ellia Marcum, to come on the podcast to tell us her life story of how she overcame extremely difficult circumstances and personal traumas.

I was first introduced to Ellia when she reached out to me to tell me her story of healing and growth after growing up with an alcoholic mother, experiencing the ambiguous loss of her father, and battling through a betrayal trauma after her husband had a marital affair.

I knew as she ended her story and began to tell me about the reasons why she started her company Mood|Well, that she needed to come on the podcast because much like Myles story in Episode 11, hearing someone be so open, honest and self aware gives us all the courage to face our own personal shame and trauma; and I want to continue to empower this community to talk about what they are going through and express themselves so that we can all overcome barriers holding us back from finding our true purpose and source of happiness. So, here we are!

Ellia Marcum is a Certified Professional Life Coach, a support group facilitator through A Door of Hope, and Mental Health First Responder and Coach. She owns and operated her own business, Mood|Well, where she helps women heal and cope from mental illness and life crises through one-on-one sessions and support groups.

Also, special thanks to Mattias Friberg for composing the music for this podcast and perfecting my sound!

I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did! Feel free to leave your thought below!



- WHERE TO FIND ELLIA ONLINE -

WEBSITE Www.MoodWellCoaching.Org
INSTAGRAM @Mood.Well_Coaching


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EPISODE 13: DISSECTING SOCIETY'S RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD AND TIPS FOR MINDFUL EATING WITH ARMITA HOSSEINI

EPISODE 13: DISSECTING SOCIETY'S RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD AND TIPS FOR MINDFUL EATING WITH ARMITA HOSSEINI

*PLEASE NOTE: What we discuss in this episode is not therapy or therapeutic interventions but merely research and informed opinions Armita Hosseini has developed based on clinical knowledge and experiences. If anyone is struggling with their relationship with food and/or may suffer from an eating disorder, they should seek professional help.

Hello Friends and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

Today, I have invited food stylist, chef, and registered psychological associate Armita Hosseini to come on the podcast to talk about how society’s relationship with food has changed over the last century as well as the importance of mindful eating.

For those who don’t know Armita, she is an Iranian-Canadian registered psychological associate, self-taught cook, artist, and food designer who is passionate about the artistic expression of various international cuisines, particularly middle eastern and traditional Iranian cuisine. I first came across Armita on Instagram and fell in love with her feed because she treats food as an art form and her plating/food styling is some of the best I have ever seen. Surprised to learn she was self-taught as well as a registered psychological associate, I thought she would be the perfect person to have on the podcast to talk about the anthropology of food, the rise of mental health issues around food, and the importance of mindful eating.

Born in Tehran and now residing in Toronto, Amita draws inspiration from colours, flavours, textures, nature and memories of her childhood when cooking and styling food. She also loves to incorporate aspects of psychological nuances that can enhance or hinder our eating experiences when she can. Amita hopes to bridge the gap between culture, art, food, design, and psychology through her cooking and is currently working on a recipe book in which she showcases her refreshing take on traditional Iranian recipes and ingredients, and modernizes Iranian cuisine so that it can be better known and more accessible to the world.

Also, special thanks to Mattias Friberg for composing the music for this podcast and perfecting my sound!

Food stylist, chef, and clinical psychologist Amita Hosseini

Food stylist, chef, and clinical psychologist Amita Hosseini

- RESOURCES -

  1. The Art Of Mindful Eating by Xenia Ayiotis

  2. Live Happy Now Podcast - The Sound of Food with Steve Keller - Steve Keller, CEO of ivAudio Branding, is one of the world’s leading experts in the field of audio branding. Combining his degree in Psychology with over 25 years of experience in the music industry as a producer, composer, independent label executive, music publisher, and manager, he looks at how sounds and music affect us

  3. The Atlantic - The Science That Could Make You Crave Broccoli More Than Chocolate By Knvul Sheikh -Neurogastronomy wants to rewire how people perceive flavors—and may be able to help those who have lost their sense of taste.


WHERE TO FIND ARMITA HOSSEINI

INSTAGRAM @CookingWithArmita


If you have any comments or questions about this episode, feel free to leave them below.

Further, If you would like to show your support to a charity close to Armita’s heart - ‘Baking for Iran: The Unforgotten Children’ - CLICK HERE

View this post on Instagram

‏I am excited to dedicate this month’s baking fundraising to an important cause that is also close to my heart. In the next few weeks I will be taking preorders of Persian Love Cake and 100 percent of the proceeds raised will be donated to help supply drinking water in deprived and remote regions of Sistan and Balouchestan where there is lack of water supply. The footages in this video are the Baluchi children who currently live in extremely improvised and unbearable living conditions. ‏See the link in my bio to DONATE and put in your ORDER. Kindly follow the instructions in the link , read about the people of Sistan Balouchestan and enjoy the goodness of your Persian Love Cake order. From my kitchen to your home, let’s spread the love one bite at a time. ‎ https://gogetfunding.com/baking-for-the-unforgotten-children/ Preorder deadline: OCT 4, 2020 ‏If you do not reside in Toronto/GTA and still wish to donate, you are welcome to donate any amount you like. Community is key in supporting these deprived regions so kindly share this post if you can. ‏Thank you for your kind heart. ‏Special thanks to many of the hardworking Iranian friends in Iran who have dedicated their lives to causes such as this and put up with my questions and research for the past few weeks. ‏Thank you @nik_yousefi for sharing your art with me. 🎥 @aubtin.g ‏Thank you sponsors and generous donors: @negarpanahi_realtor @chicpickcatering and @npmortgages خوشحالم که جمع آوری کمک مالی و خیریه این ماه را به یک هدف مهم اختصاص می دهم. طی چند هفته آینده پیش سفارش کیک ایرانی (Persian love cake) را تهیه می کنم و 100 درصد درآمد حاصل از این کار به ساخت خطوط لوله انتقال آب در مناطق دور افتاده سیستان و بلوچستان اختصاص می یابد. تصاویر موجود در این ویدئو مربوط به کودکان بلوچی است که در حال حاضر در شرایط زندگی بسیار بد و غیرقابل تحمل زندگی می کنند. به لینک موجود در بیو صفحه من مراجعه کرده و سفارش خود را قرار دهید. لطفاً دستورالعملهای موجود در لینک را دنبال کنید ، در مورد مردم سیستان بلوچستان مطالعه کنید و از سفارش کیک Love Love خود لذت ببرید. از آشپزخانه من به خانه شما ، بیایید عشق و مهربانی را با هنر آشپزی گسترش دهیم. اگر در تورنتو / GTA اقامت ندارید و همچنان مایل به اهدا هستید ، م

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EPISODE 12: THE DANGEROUS DOWNSIDE TO PERFECTIONISM WITH J. STAMATELOS

EPISODE 12: THE DANGEROUS DOWNSIDE TO PERFECTIONISM WITH J. STAMATELOS

Hello Friends and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

Today on the podcast, I have invited author, researcher, and coach J. Stamatelos to come on and talk about the dangerous downsides to perfectionism and the importance of self-compassion.

I first became interested in talking with J. after reading an article he wrote about perfectionism, which I thought was both insightful and full of interesting research. I knew after reading it that I just had to ask him to come on the podcast because not only do I think the need to be perfect and perfectionism are on the rise but it can actually be very crippling and incredibly destructive to a person's self-worth.

For those who don’t know J, prior to becoming a coach, he began his career in counter-terrorism and emergency response. Eventually, in his mid 20’s he started to experience internal struggles around chronically feeling “not enough”. After it almost cost him his life, J. began to notice that practically everyone around him was also struggling with the same feelings. Viewing this as a far bigger problem than terrorism, he decided to dedicate himself to discovering why so many people feel this way and what we can do about it.

After years of personal experimentation, working with clients, and digging into the research behind these issues, he has compiled his findings in a book succinctly titled, “Enough.” Spanning everything from how we were raised to economic changes in our society, J outlines why recent generations have experienced a surge in what he calls “anxious insecurity.” More importantly, he also outlines what changes we can make to break these cycles in our own lives.

Today, J. specializes in working with high-achievers who battle with feeling like they’re not enough and helps them overcome their biggest obstacle, themselves.

Also, special thanks to Mattias Friberg for composing the music for this podcast and perfecting my sound!

Author, researcher, and coach J. Stamatelos

Author, researcher, and coach J. Stamatelos


WHERE TO FIND J. STAMATELOS

WEBSITE Www.JamesjStamatelos.com
INSTAGRAM
@InnerStrengthCoach
LINKED IN James J. Stametelos


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EPISODE 11: 'I'M HIV POSITIVE' - MYLES SEXTON'S JOURNEY BACK TO LOVE & SELF ACCEPTANCE

EPISODE 11: 'I'M HIV POSITIVE' - MYLES SEXTON'S JOURNEY BACK TO LOVE & SELF ACCEPTANCE

Hello and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

Today on the podcast, I have invited a very special guest and friend on Myles Sexton.

For those who don’t know Myles, he is a lifestyle blogger originally from Nova Scotia who now resides in Toronto, Canada. His blog, I Walk for Myles in These Shoes covers his love and curiosity for travel, beauty, and fashion. Working as an international model and makeup artist for many years, Myles’s personal style has been featured on the pages of Vogue Italia, Elle, and Fashion Magazine. His celebrity clients have included Grace Jones, Maye Musk, Winnie Harlow, Nelly Furtado, Lights, and Emily Hanes of Metric.


OTHER EPISODES ABOUT HEALING


Myles Sexton, looking stylish as always

Myles Sexton, looking stylish as always

To give everyone a bit of context as to how I personally know Myles, we met a couple of years ago and run in the same social media circles here in Toronto. I first met him at an event and was instantly attracted to him because not only does he have the most welcoming, warm vibe but he is also hands down the most stylish person in the room.

Not too long ago, Myles made a video (below) in which he openly and vulnerably talked about how he was diagnosed with HIV two years previous and how it affected his ability to accept and love himself.

I knew as soon as the video ended that I had to have him come on my podcast because his story and journey were both so powerful it moved me at my core. I knew his story could help so many people even if they couldn’t share his experience because hearing someone be that open, honest, and self-aware gives us all the courage to face our own personal shame or trauma and that alone empower us all!

I hope you enjoy this episode!

Also, special thanks to Mattias Friberg for composing the music for this podcast and perfecting my sound!


- RECOMMENDED BOOKS ABOUT LOVE AND SELF ACCEPTANCE -

  1. The Gift of Imperfections By Brené Brown

  2. Love Warrior By Glennon Doyle

- HIV  RESOURCES -

  1. ⠀For information about HIV (treatment, research, and other resources), visit CATIE

  2. If you are living with HIV or newly diagnosed, live in Toronto and do not have primary care provider, please see the Health Centre at 410

  3. If you are living with HIV and need legal support services, check HALCO

  4. If you are living with HIV and need income support and access to food banks, you can self-refer to PWA

  5. If you need an HIV friendly pharmacy in Toronto, visit https://www.medsexpert.ca/

  6. If you need mental health support, peer support worker, and community support. Look into the different AIDS Service Organizations in Toronto: ACT, ASAAP, ACAS, Black Cap, etc.


Myles climbed Dorian’s Tower in the summer of 2020, 2 years after being diagnosed with HIV. Clearly nothing can stop him from living his life to the fullest.

Myles climbed Dorian’s Tower in the summer of 2020, 2 years after being diagnosed with HIV. Clearly nothing can stop him from living his life to the fullest.


WHERE TO FIND MYLES SEXTON ONLINE

WEBSITE I Walk For Myles In These Shoes
INSTAGRAM@MylesSexton
YOUTUBE
@MylesSexton
FACEBOOK
@MylesSexton
TWITTER
@MylesSexton


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EPISODE 10: LOVE AND SACRED SEXUALITY WITH JORDAN FLESHER

EPISODE 10: LOVE AND SACRED SEXUALITY WITH JORDAN FLESHER

Hello and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

In today’s episode, we are talking about love and sexuality, and to help me discussed the topic I have invited sacred sexuality teacher Jordan Flesher to come on and educate us on how to enhance our sexual spirituality and manifest meeting our twin flame.

For those who don’t know Jordan or what exactly he does, he is a sacred-sexuality teacher and life-coach. He focuses on healing and abundance when it comes to our sexual health and lifestyle. Through Jordan’s teaching, he highlights the importance of healing especially for those that have experienced sexual trauma. Just like the body knows how to naturally heal itself when you get cut, it can also heal emotionally. Further, he also provides guidance that can help people tap into their own sexual energy to manifest their best and most abundant lives. Jordan works with couples, and individuals interested in attaining the highest states of self-awareness, happiness, and feelings of sexuality.

Jordan has also co-published many articles with Deepak Chopra and has attracted the attention of many celebrities such as the Kardashians, Justin Bieber, and more. He holds a Masters of Arts in Psychology and focuses on counseling work with individuals who are going through anxiety or depression, as well as those who are confused about what the Twin Flame relationship means.

He works with clients worldwide online via ZOOM, and he can be contacted through his Instagram @jordanflesher

Also, special thanks to Mattias Friberg for composing the music for this podcast and perfecting my sound!

A few recommended readings on spirituality by Jordan Flesher:




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EPISODE 9: BREAKING HABITS OF SELF SABOTAGE BY UNDERSTANDING SHAME

EPISODE 9: BREAKING HABITS OF SELF SABOTAGE BY UNDERSTANDING SHAME

Hello and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast

Today on the podcast I wanted to talk to you about why we self-sabotage and how by understanding shame, we can break habits that hold us back from believing we are capable of achieving what we want.

The reason why I wanted to talk to you about these topics is because I personally haven’t really been feeling so great lately and it reminded me that a lot of people struggle with this exact thing. Since I was doing the research and going on my own little self-help binge anyways, I decided that it would be useful to also share the information I found with you too so you can better understand your own self-sabotage habits and do what you can to free yourself from what is inevitably holding you back.


“A secret only has power if you keep it a secret.”


Have you ever heard the expression ‘a secret only has power if you keep it a secret’? Well, that is how shame, fear, self-doubt, and regret thrive. They make you question yourself and eat away at your confidence until you begin to self-sabotage your progress until eventually you just give up

Why do people self-sabotage?

  • A low sense of self-worth - Ironically a lot of people feel they are undeserving of success and happiness and use work to make up for inadequacies they see in themselves. These people hate themselves so much that they overwork themselves until they have no one close around them or are burnt out because deep down they think they are unworthy of true happiness.

  • Control - Sometimes it feels better to have control over your own failure rather than face the possibility of it blindsiding you and taking you by surprise. Self-sabotage is never a fun thing to do, but it can feel better than spinning out of control for some people.

  • Imposter syndrome - feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evidence of past success or external proof of being competent. This can result in someone doing the bare minimum and putting the least amount of effort into something so they can act like it doesn’t mean that much to them or if a person is still finding your footing and feel unsure of your own capabilities, they question whether they are smart enough for the job and torture themselves with the possibility of being humiliated when it all becomes revealed to the world that they can’t cut it.

    I think imposter syndrome is quite common in today’s society. We always want instant success, instant gratification, instant praise when really we need to give ourselves time to learn, adapt, and grow before we can really start to feel comfortable with our capabilities especially when starting a new role.

Photo By Samuel Elias Nadler

Photo By Samuel Elias Nadler


“I have not failed, I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

- Thomas Edison after inventing the lightbulb,


Instant success is as probable as winning the lottery and most people have to fail multiple times before they can find the right formula for success. Instead, learn to normalize failure as an opportunity to grow instead of a limit to a person’s abilities.

  • Needing a scapegoat - Its easier to pawn off your failure by saying, ‘well, I never paid attention in class’ instead of ‘I didn’t understand the material’ or ‘my boss plays favorites’ instead of ‘I failed to show I was more capable for the job’. Using scapegoats are an easy way for people to brush off their own failures or willingness to address and recorrect their own behaviors.

  • Lack of motivation - you have a list of stuff you need to do but instead, procrastinate until it becomes too late to get any of it done. A lack of motivation is also how we find excuses for focusing on other things besides the task at hand like needing to clean your apartment or folding laundry before you can actually sit down and get to work.


    I know I’m often guilty of doing all the little, easy stuff on my ‘to-do list’ first instead of investing my time on bigger tasks that would actually move the needle forward because they seem so daunting. This often tends to lead to the feeling of being perpetually stuck in one place because I’m ‘faking productivity’. I’m not actually doing anything productive to achieving my goals, I’m only maintaining what I have done so far, which perpetuates this vicious cycle of lacking further motivation because I’m not seeing any progress.



Connection is why we are here. The ability to feel a connection is what drives us as a society. We have this innate desire to stay connected our biggest fear and where shame thrives, is the worry of becoming disconnected.

Here is the thing about shame though, it loses its power when you talk about whatever it is that is causing you to feel the shame in the first place because, at its core, shame requires you to believe you are alone in order for it to maintain its power.

Photo by Perry Grone

Photo by Perry Grone


“Most people associate being vulnerable with weakness, uncertain risk, and exposure but in truth it’s about daring greatly.”


if we embrace the fact that no body is perfect, and begin to understand that being imperfect is not a curse but completely natural, then we can find the courage to share and see the beauty in rawness. There is courage in saying our truth and there is an opportunity for relief from internal struggle. If you can rewire out brains so that we can believe that what makes you vulnerable also makes you beautiful then it becomes a lot easier to accept parts of ourselves the once filled us with shame.

Sure it may not be comfortable to share but its also not suppose to be easy. That’s after all how shame keeps its power. It is banking on the fact that you will take the easier route. Talking about how you are felling, saying it aloud, sharing your fears not only makes it easier to expose what is really holding you back but also frees you from the power they had over you. Learning to embracing imperfection also believe it or not, makes you more relatable and beautiful because it gives you an opportunity to connect with others through a shared experience which can give you a sense of belonging.

Through empathy we can actually connect better with other. We can build connections, feel less alone, find acceptance for ourselves and more importantly move forward away from our deepest fears. We are able to turn to ourselves and finally say, ‘I am capable’, ‘I am deserving,’ and ‘I am enough’. Three statements shame tries to destroy in us if we let it.


“Shame needs three things to grow exponentially - secrecy, silence, and judgment. And when we numb vulnerability, we are also numbing joy, gratitude, happiness, purpose, creativity, a sense of belonging, love, and meaning.” - Brené Brown


if you can find the courage to embrace your vulnerability, to be imperfectly authentic, to talk about what you are scared of, you also open the door to beauty, growth, and healing and that is how you move forward when that little tiny voice in your head tells you, you can’t.


OTHER HELPFUL RESOURCES

PSYCHOLOGY TODAY - 5 Ways To Stop Self Sabotaging Yourself

ENTREPRENEUR.COM - 8 Ways to Stop Self-Sabotaging Your Success

TALK SPACE - 4 Signs You’re Self-Sabotaging (+ How to Stop)


All right, so there you have it. Everything I know to help you better understand shame and why you may be self-sabotaging as well as why it’s important to embrace vulnerability and share what your feeling with others. If you have any comments about this episode please feel free to leave them in the comment section below and I hope everyone has a great week embracing vulnerability and I’ll see you again next Monday! CIAO!


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EPISODE 8: HACKING YOUR HAPPINESS CHEMICALS

EPISODE 8: HACKING YOUR HAPPINESS CHEMICALS

Hello and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast

Today on the podcast I wanted to talk to you about happiness chemicals.

The human body is really an amazing evolution. Life is designed to be a blissful experience and our biology ensures that everything we need for our survival will make us feel good, that is why we seek pleasure and avoid pain. Naturally, our bodies have the ability to produce happiness chemicals and today I thought I’d share some vital information about how they work and a few hacks you can do to boost them.


Did you know that the warmth you feel from a long hug is caused by an entirely different chemical sensation than the high you feel after a long run or bike ride?


So to start, there are four major chemicals in the brain that influence our happiness. These happiness chemicals are fundamentally responsible for creating the sensations and emotions we’ve come to associate with happiness and they go by the acronym DOSE.

Dopamine
Oxytocin
Serotonin
Endorphins


Dopamine aka the “feel-good” hormone and neurotransmitter, plays an important part in your brain’s reward system. Dopamine is associated with pleasurable sensations, along with learning, memory, and motor system function for example. It is the source of that little happy feeling when someone fills in a checkbox or complete a small task. It is responsible for reward-driven behavior and pleasure-seeking as it is meant to motivate your body toward a distant goal, one step at a time.


Did you know that you can get a natural dose of Dopamine when you perform acts of kindness toward others? Volunteering has been shown to increase dopamine as well as have other long-term health benefits. Some research has even found that just thinking about love and kindness can actually bring on the dopamine high as well.


Oxytocin, often called the “love hormone,” is essential for childbirth, breastfeeding, and strong parent-child bonding. This hormone can also help promote trust, empathy, and bonding in relationships and oxytocin levels generally increase with physical affection like kissing, cuddling, and sex. I’ve also heard it affectionately referred to as the “hugging drug” because it is released by the brain during physical contact with others. It’s also the feeling behind love, friendship, or deep trust.

What’s especially great about oxytocin is that it often works two ways. So those long hugs give both you and the hug-receiver a dose of oxytocin .

Studies have shown that oxytocin seems to affect males and females differently though, especially in social contexts. It is theorized that because the hormone acts differently in the male and female amygdala - the portion of your brain responsible for emotion, motivation, and reward - causing males and females to be affected differently. One study even suggested that Oxytocin hormones could influence males to stay faithful to their partner. In theory, the more time you spend with your partner, the more oxytocin you and your partner produces. The more oxytocin you produce with your partner, the more you desire your partner, and the more attracted to them you become versus other unfamiliar females. This in turn makes them more prone to being faithful and creating a behavior loop so to speak.


Did you know that Oxytocin also boosts our immune systems, makes us better problem solvers, and more resistant to the addictive qualities of dopamine. Unlike dopamine, which is largely responsible for instant gratification, oxytocin gives us lasting feelings of calm and safety.


Serotonin, also known as ‘The Confidence Molecule” is also a hormone and neurotransmitter like Dopamine except that Serotonin helps regulate your mood as well as your sleep, appetite, digestion, ability to learn, and even memory.

If someone is experiencing low serotonin levels, they might:

  • feel anxious, low, or depressed

  • feel irritable or aggressive

  • have sleep issues or feel fatigued

  • feel impulsive

  • have a decreased appetite

  • experience nausea and digestive issues

  • crave sweets and carbohydrate-rich foods

Like oxytocin, Serotonin is also considered a social chemical because of how it plays a role in the dynamics of pride, loyalty, and status. When we feel a sense of accomplishment or recognition from others, we are experiencing the effects of serotonin. This for example could be as a result of receiving your diploma, crossing the finish line in a race, or being appreciated for hard work in the office.

Photo by Vasily Koloda on Unsplash

Did you know Serotonin also plays a role in many crucial systems in our body beyond just our well-being and happiness. It’s believed to affect digestion, bone growth, and even organ development. Interestingly enough, an estimated 80 percent of serotonin exists in the gut, and is governed by your state of hunger! This is why you get haangry!


Last but not least, the E in DOSE is for Endorphins - our body’s natural pain reliever. Endorphins are responsible for masking pain or discomfort and the name Endorphin translates into “self-produced morphine." That is why when it comes to happiness, endorphins are what help you “power through” stress or discomfort and give you a boost in your overall mood when you engage in reward-producing activities, such as eating, working out, or having sex. It is also why many describe getting a ‘runners high’ after exerting themselves for a long period of time. Once you remove the pain part of the equation, endorphins actually feel like a “high” or even just a nice relaxing feeling. For example, have you ever been to a thermal spa where they have cold and hot tubs. When you move from a hot to a cold tub or jump into a freezing cold shower you are giving yourself a huge boost of endorphins which can feel quite rewarding if you can stand a minute or two of physical discomfort.


Did you know that If you were to examine the chemical structure and effects of endorphins they look a lot like opiates.


Like endorphins though, Adrenaline also helps the body deal with distress and fearful situation. Known as “The Energy Molecule”, adrenaline plays a large role in the fight-or-flight mechanism. A release of adrenaline is often described as exhilarating and creates a surge in energy that both increases your heart rate and blood pressure. An "adrenaline rush" can be triggered on demand by doing things that terrify you like sky diving or being put into a situation that feels dangerous and jolts of adrenaline are said to be healthy in small doses, especially when you need a pick me up. 

Together though, these 5 happiness chemicals create desirable mood states in the brain and by focusing on lifestyle choices that secrete each of these neurochemicals, you will increase your odds of happiness across the board. So the question then becomes, how do I boost them. Well, there are a variety of ways!


WAYS TO BOOST YOUR HAPPINESS CHEMICALS


Go outside. Simply spending time outdoors, in sunlight, is a great way to do this. Start with at least 10 to 15 minutes outside each day. Try exploring a new neighborhoods or park.

Regular physical activity can also increase your dopamine and serotonin levels. Just like the “runner’s high” I talked about before, your body can naturally give you an endorphin releases with some exercise.

Laugh. Laughter can help relieve feelings of anxiety or stress, as well as improve a low mood by boosting dopamine and endorphin levels.

Plan meals around food items known to boost your happy hormones like:

  • spicy foods, which may trigger endorphin release

  • yogurt, beans, eggs, meats with low-fat content, and almonds, are just a few foods linked to dopamine release

  • probiotic-rich foods, such as fermented foods like kimchi or sauerkraut which actually help boost dopamine production

  • foods high in tryptophan, like turkey and salmon which have been linked to increased serotonin levels


Research suggests that eating 25 to 30 grams of carbs along with foods high in tryptophan may help more tryptophan make it into your brain.



Curcumin the active ingredient in turmeric has also been shown to increase dopamine levels in mice and may have antidepressant effects.

Green tea is another item shown to contains the amino acid which has been known to increase dopamine levels as well.

Listening to instrumental music, especially music that gives you chills, can increase dopamine production in your brain.

Meditation - If you’re familiar with meditation, you might already know of its many wellness benefits — from improving sleep to reducing stress. Studies show the link between many of meditation’s benefits to increased dopamine production during the practice while other research shows it can spur an endorphin release.

Plan a romantic evening. Simply being attracted to someone can lead to the production of oxytocin along with physical affection like kissing, cuddling, or having sex which actually releases both endorphins and dopamine. Further, sharing a glass of wine with your partner or dancing can add an endorphin boost.

Pet your dog! They don’t call them ‘man’s best friend’ for nothing. Giving your dog some affection is a great way to boost oxytocin levels for both you and your dog. According to research, dog owners and their dogs see an increase in oxytocin when they cuddle so if you don’t have another human being to offer you affection to your favorite pet can also do the trick.

Getting a good night’s sleep can also help boost your happiness hormones. Sleep effects your happiness chemicals more than you think and not getting enough quality sleep can affect your health in multiple ways. For one, it can contribute to an imbalance of hormones, particularly dopamine, in your body. This can have a negative impact on your mood as well as your physical health. Setting aside 7 to 9 hours each night for sleep can help restore the balance of hormones in your body, which will likely help you feel better.

Managing your stress. It’s normal to experience some stress from time to time. But living with regular stress or dealing with highly stressful life events can cause drops in dopamine and serotonin production. This can negatively affect your health and mood, making it harder to deal with the cycle of stress.

Get a massage. Believe it or not, massages can boost up to 4 of your happy hormones. According to research, both serotonin and dopamine levels increased after massages and one study that looked at 84 pregnant women with depression said that those who received 20 minutes of massage therapy from a partner twice a week felt less anxious and depressed while also showing higher serotonin levels in their body after 16 weeks.

Have a good cry. Holding back tears can build up tension and anxiety whereas if you let it go and have a good cry, it generally provides a physical relief from tension in the body, and stimulates Endorphin releases.

Keep yourself motivated by planning baby steps towards a goal. The idea of breaking down a tough task you have to get done makes it feel more do-able while also allowing your brain to reward you with dopamine each time you complete a small step.

Supplements are also said to be a great way to boost your serotonin and dopamine production however some supplements can also interact with certain medications, so make sure talk to your healthcare provider before you try them.


All right, so there you have it. Everything you need to know about the bodies natural abilities to produce happiness chemicals and how you can boost them. If you have any comments about this episode please feel free to leave them in the comment section of my show notes! Alright! I hope everyone has a great week boosting those happiness chemicals and I’ll see you again next Monday! CIAO!


Sources
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4449495/
https://www.healthline.com/health/happy-hormone#pets
https://technologyadvice.com/blog/information-technology/activate-chemicals-gamify-happiness-nicole-lazzaro/
https://www.happyfeed.co/research/4-brain-chemicals-make-you-happy
https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/the-athletes-way/201211/the-neurochemicals-happiness
https://medium.com/thrive-global/the-brain-chemicals-that-make-you-happy-and-how-to-trigger-them-caa5268eb2c
https://www.psychologies.co.uk/self/how-to-boost-your-natural-feelgood-chemicals.html
https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-increase-serotonin#takeaway
https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/dopamine-supplements#section14
https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/how-to-increase-dopamine#section11
https://www.healthline.com/health/love-hormone#negative-effects


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EPISODE 7: WELLNESS EXPERT LAURA DE SANCTIS DISCUSSES THE LINK BETWEEN DEPRESSION AND YOUR GUT HEALTH

EPISODE 7: WELLNESS EXPERT LAURA DE SANCTIS DISCUSSES THE LINK BETWEEN DEPRESSION AND YOUR GUT HEALTH

Hello and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

In today’s episode, we are talking about how depression has been found to be linked to your gut, and to help discuss this topic I have invited a very special guest on, nutritionist Laura De Sanctis to fill us in on all the latest research and findings.

For those who don’t know Laura, she is the Wellness Expert at Global News and AM640 as well as an official Bodyrocks nutritionist and the founder of ‘Go With Your Gut’ Tea!


CHECK OUT THESE OTHER EPISODES FROM THE PODCAST!


LAURA’S OFFICIAL CREDENTIALS

Reiki Level 1, Toronto (2019)

Energy Medicine Practitioner  – Institute of Holistic Nutrition, Toronto (2016)

Holistic Nutritionist – Institute of Holistic Nutrition, Toronto (2016)

For those who need a quick biology refresher, the Gut not only aids digestion but it also,
+ can boost immune system defense
+ breaks down food so we can absorb vitamins
+ injects the body with anti-inflammatory compounds
+ and now also apparently produces chemicals that influence the brain!


Main problems or symptoms that you may experience that would tell you if you may be having issues with your gut:

  • Irritable bowel syndrome

  • bloating

  • inflammation

  • fatigue

  • joint pain

  • excessive gas

  • mood swings

  • cramps

  • anxiety

  • stress

  • brain fog

Fun Fact! You have 1 kg of bacteria in your gut. That is equivalent to the weight of the human brain.


Study At Belgium Luven Centre of Microbiology the links Depression To Gut Health

They found that certain bacterias found in the gut produce substances that interact and therefore could affect the nervous system.

  • Missing Bacteria:

    • Coprococcus
      - Produces DOPAL - which is a dopamine metabolite
      - Produced Butyrate - which is an anti-inflammatory dietary fiber found in plants

    • Dialister

      - Produced Butyrate - which is an anti-inflammatory dietary fiber found in plants

“We found that the ability of microorganism’s to produce DOPAL, a metabolite of the human neurotransmitter dopamine, was associated with a better quality of life.” - study co-author Mireia Valles-Colomer

American Gut Project 2012

People with depression have similar gut bacteria breakdowns.

Those with better well being had a high concentration of Coprococccus and Faecal bacteria.

Those who are more active and a good diet were happier.

Recommends diets with low processed food, more veggies, fruits, legumes, nuts and grains.


Plant-based diet - a diet consisting entirely of foods derived from plants, including vegetables, grains, nuts, seeds, legumes, and fruits.

Mediterranean diet - all the rage in the 60s, started in Italy and Greece
High amounts of olive oil, legumes, fruits, veggies
Moderate to high amounts of fish
Moderate amounts of wine and dairy
Low amounts of meat


- The Chicken and the Egg -

- People with depression have different habits, lifestyles, diets than those people without depression and so that could affect gut microbes which in-turn reinforcing the depression symptoms.


Laura has also created two teas, a digestive cleansing tea and a prebiotic honey elixir that support better gut health. You can find out more about both products through her website linked below.

WHERE TO FIND LAURA DE SANCTIS

WEBSITE http://www.gowithyourgut.org/
INSTAGRAMhttps://www.instagram.com/gowithyourgut/
FACEBOOKhttps://www.facebook.com/Go-With-Your-Gut-287384384940789/


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If you have any comments or questions about this episode on the brain gut connection, feel free to leave them below


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