EPISODE 16: #BLACKLIVESMATTER, WHITE PRIVILEGE AND HOW TO BE A BETTER ALLY WITH SARAFINA ARTHUR WILLIAMS

EPISODE 16: #BLACKLIVESMATTER, WHITE PRIVILEGE AND HOW TO BE A BETTER ALLY WITH SARAFINA ARTHUR WILLIAMS 

Hello Friends and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

Today on the podcast I have invited wellness psychologist and founder of Intentional Simplicity, Sarafina Arthur Williams to come on and educate us on the state of mental health in the BIPOC community, what white privilege is and how we can use it to help people of colour by being better allies.

The reason why I ask Sarafina to come on the show was because, even prior to the Black Lives Matter Protest this past summer and the death of George Floyd, I had listened to one or two conversations around white privilege and how to have conversations with people in marginalized groups about race, but it wasn’t until I sat back, muted myself and actively started to listen, that I notice how ignorant I was to ‘the black experience’, their history of oppression and injustice, and the place they hold on social media.

As someone who has black friends and even black relatives, I admit I have never tried to have conversations with them around race but this experience made me realize that maybe I should.

Even after examining my own social media feed, which was filled with predominant white faces it also made me ask myself, ‘How I expect to learn more about people in marginalized groups if I don’t show interest in people’s experiences that are different then my own.’

Further, since I have a particular interest in mental health, it worried me how, with all that is going on in the world, the BIPOC community is doing in terms of taking care of their mental health and if they are even able to get the help they need because:
1) you usually have to pay out of pocket for anything mental health related which can be a deterrent or barrier to seeking help and,
2) less than 2 % of mental health care practitioners are Black or African American and how can you expect those who need help to get proper help when those available to give it aren’t culturally competent enough to treat and understand specific issues as they relate to the black experience.

And so that is why I wanted Sarafina to come on and talk with us, because not only has she lived the black experience but she is a masters level psychologist who can relay her first hand insights and experience of growing up in the black community along with knowledge on the state of it’s mental health.

Sarafina Arthur-Williams is the CEO and founder of Intentional Simplicity LLC, a wellness-based mental health private practice. As a wellness psychologist and creative consultant, she educates her clients and mental health practitioners about positive psychology, art therapy, and the value of wellness and mindfulness. She is ranked on Feedspot’s top psychology bloggers of 2020 and features as a guest speaker on a variety of mental health platforms. To encourage sustainability, Sarafina documents how she practices wellness in her daily life through her online presence.

I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did! Feel free to leave your thought below!

Also, special thanks to Mattias Friberg for composing the music for this podcast and perfecting my sound!


- BIPOC Mental Health Statistics -

  • Black and African American teenagers are more likely to attempt suicide than White teenagers (9.8 percent v. 6.1 percent).

  • 16% (4.8 million) of Black and African American people reported having a mental illness, and 22.4% (1.1 million people) reported a serious mental illness over the past year.

  • Serious mental illness (SMI) rose among all ages of Black and African American people between 2008 and 2018.

  • Binge drinking, smoking (cigarettes and marijuana), illicit drug use and prescription pain reliever misuse are more frequent among Black and African American adults with mental illnesses.

  • Black and African American people are more often diagnosed with schizophrenia and less often diagnosed with mood disorders compared to white people with the same symptoms.
    Additionally, they are offered medication or therapy at the lower rates than the general population.

  • Black and African American people are over-represented in our jails and prisons. Black and
    African American people make up 13 percent of the general U.S. population, but nearly 40 percent of the prison population. In 2016, the imprisonment rate for Black and African American men (2,417 per 100,000 Black male residents) was more than 6 times greater than that for white men (401 per 100,000 white male residents) and the imprisonment rate for Black and African American women (97 per 100,000 Black and African American female residents) was almost double that for white women (49 per 100,000 white female residents). [13] Black and African American people with mental health conditions, specifically those involving psychosis, are more likely to be in jail or prison than people of other races.

  • Because less than 2 percent of American Psychological Association members are Black or African American

  • 11.5 percent of Black and African Americans, versus 7.5 percent of white Americans were still uninsured in 2018.

  • In 2018, 58.2 % of Black and African American young adults 18-25 and 50.1 % of adults 26-49 with serious mental illness did NOT receive treatment

- Stats From Mental Health America - https://www.mhanational.org/issues/black-and-african-american-communities-and-mental-health



- Where To Find Sarafina Online -

WEBSITE Www.LiveIntentionallySimplistic.Com
INSTAGRAM @intentional_simplicity_llc
FACEBOOK
@intentionalsimplicityllc


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EPISODE 15: HOW TO HAVE HARD CONVERSATIONS

EPISODE 15: HOW TO HAVE HARD CONVERSATIONS

* Please Note - Some links in this post may be affiliate links *

Hello Friends and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

For today’s episode, I thought I would do a little solo show and talk about one theme that I feel has been brought up time and time again throughout the first half of this season. They are situation that occurs in everyone’s life where tough topics need to be discussed and although we may hate to have discussions about them, they are a necessary part of life. So that is why I thought I’d devote today’s episode to developing a playbook oh how to make having them a little bit easier.

If you hate conflict and avoid it as much as possible, know that you are not alone. According to a Harvard Business Review, 67% of managers are uncomfortable talking to the people they manage - and that’s literally their job. However, it is important to understand that conflict avoidance robs you of your energy, power, and emotional freedom, and does not serve you in any way which is why learning how to get conformable having hard conversations is the only way to find relief from a stressful situation!

I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did! Feel free to leave your thought below!

Also, special thanks to Mattias Friberg for composing the music for this podcast and perfecting my sound!


- Episode Recap -

  1. Learning to sit with yourself and comb through your thoughts - be honest with yourself and acknowledge the need for the conversations

  2. Prep!

    • define your ideal outcome

    • rehearse with a friend

    • choose your language wisely

    • watch your body language

  3. Set ground rules

    • allow each other time to speak while the other listens - no interrupting!

    • name calling, throwing objects, and swearing are off-limits

    • allow time out or the ability to initiate a pauses

  4. Be okay with possibly being wrong - You may have misinterpreted the situation or have the wrong information and therefore things aren’t as black and white as you may have originally thought, and that’s okay.

  5. Be honest and straightforward - use specific examples making sure to watch your tone and the words you use so you don't come off accusatory.

  6. Acknowledge your responsibilities and avoidance in dealing with the conflict sooner

  7. Be empathetic, listen and validate - this doesn’t mean you have to agree or change the point you are trying to make, it just makes them feel like they are an even playing field and are able to be heard too.

  8. Make sure not to:

    • dominate the conversation

    • jump in to fill silence

    • interrupt when they are talking

  9. If the conversation starts going sideways, reiterate the reason why you are having the conversation - to maintain mutual respect and problem solve so you can improve the relationship and both of your lives.

  10. It’s okay to disappoint people

    • set boundaries if you need to

  11. Stick to your target - as you near the end of the conversation restate your point and offer a possible solution

    • brainstorm steps together on how to achieve the solution

  12. Ask questions to make sure they understood everything discussed



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EPISODE 14: HOW ELLIA MARCUM FOUND HER STRENGTH TO DEAL WITH THE AMBIGUOUS LOSS OF HER FATHER, AN ALCOHOLIC MOTHER, AND WORK THROUGH HER HUSBANDS MARITAL AFFAIR

EPISODE 14: HOW ELLIA MARCUM FOUND HER STRENGTH TO DEAL WITH THE AMBIGUOUS LOSS OF HER FATHER, AN ALCOHOLIC MOTHER AND WORK THROUGH HER HUSBANDS MARITAL AFFAIR

Hello Friends and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

Today, I have invited mother, wife, daughter and certified mental health coach Ellia Marcum, to come on the podcast to tell us her life story of how she overcame extremely difficult circumstances and personal traumas.

I was first introduced to Ellia when she reached out to me to tell me her story of healing and growth after growing up with an alcoholic mother, experiencing the ambiguous loss of her father, and battling through a betrayal trauma after her husband had a marital affair.

I knew as she ended her story and began to tell me about the reasons why she started her company Mood|Well, that she needed to come on the podcast because much like Myles story in Episode 11, hearing someone be so open, honest and self aware gives us all the courage to face our own personal shame and trauma; and I want to continue to empower this community to talk about what they are going through and express themselves so that we can all overcome barriers holding us back from finding our true purpose and source of happiness. So, here we are!

Ellia Marcum is a Certified Professional Life Coach, a support group facilitator through A Door of Hope, and Mental Health First Responder and Coach. She owns and operated her own business, Mood|Well, where she helps women heal and cope from mental illness and life crises through one-on-one sessions and support groups.

Also, special thanks to Mattias Friberg for composing the music for this podcast and perfecting my sound!

I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did! Feel free to leave your thought below!



- WHERE TO FIND ELLIA ONLINE -

WEBSITE Www.MoodWellCoaching.Org
INSTAGRAM @Mood.Well_Coaching


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EPISODE 13: DISSECTING SOCIETY'S RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD AND TIPS FOR MINDFUL EATING WITH ARMITA HOSSEINI

EPISODE 13: DISSECTING SOCIETY'S RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD AND TIPS FOR MINDFUL EATING WITH ARMITA HOSSEINI

*PLEASE NOTE: What we discuss in this episode is not therapy or therapeutic interventions but merely research and informed opinions Armita Hosseini has developed based on clinical knowledge and experiences. If anyone is struggling with their relationship with food and/or may suffer from an eating disorder, they should seek professional help.

Hello Friends and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

Today, I have invited food stylist, chef, and registered psychological associate Armita Hosseini to come on the podcast to talk about how society’s relationship with food has changed over the last century as well as the importance of mindful eating.

For those who don’t know Armita, she is an Iranian-Canadian registered psychological associate, self-taught cook, artist, and food designer who is passionate about the artistic expression of various international cuisines, particularly middle eastern and traditional Iranian cuisine. I first came across Armita on Instagram and fell in love with her feed because she treats food as an art form and her plating/food styling is some of the best I have ever seen. Surprised to learn she was self-taught as well as a registered psychological associate, I thought she would be the perfect person to have on the podcast to talk about the anthropology of food, the rise of mental health issues around food, and the importance of mindful eating.

Born in Tehran and now residing in Toronto, Amita draws inspiration from colours, flavours, textures, nature and memories of her childhood when cooking and styling food. She also loves to incorporate aspects of psychological nuances that can enhance or hinder our eating experiences when she can. Amita hopes to bridge the gap between culture, art, food, design, and psychology through her cooking and is currently working on a recipe book in which she showcases her refreshing take on traditional Iranian recipes and ingredients, and modernizes Iranian cuisine so that it can be better known and more accessible to the world.

Also, special thanks to Mattias Friberg for composing the music for this podcast and perfecting my sound!

Food stylist, chef, and clinical psychologist Amita Hosseini

Food stylist, chef, and clinical psychologist Amita Hosseini

- RESOURCES -

  1. The Art Of Mindful Eating by Xenia Ayiotis

  2. Live Happy Now Podcast - The Sound of Food with Steve Keller - Steve Keller, CEO of ivAudio Branding, is one of the world’s leading experts in the field of audio branding. Combining his degree in Psychology with over 25 years of experience in the music industry as a producer, composer, independent label executive, music publisher, and manager, he looks at how sounds and music affect us

  3. The Atlantic - The Science That Could Make You Crave Broccoli More Than Chocolate By Knvul Sheikh -Neurogastronomy wants to rewire how people perceive flavors—and may be able to help those who have lost their sense of taste.


WHERE TO FIND ARMITA HOSSEINI

INSTAGRAM @CookingWithArmita


If you have any comments or questions about this episode, feel free to leave them below.

Further, If you would like to show your support to a charity close to Armita’s heart - ‘Baking for Iran: The Unforgotten Children’ - CLICK HERE

View this post on Instagram

‏I am excited to dedicate this month’s baking fundraising to an important cause that is also close to my heart. In the next few weeks I will be taking preorders of Persian Love Cake and 100 percent of the proceeds raised will be donated to help supply drinking water in deprived and remote regions of Sistan and Balouchestan where there is lack of water supply. The footages in this video are the Baluchi children who currently live in extremely improvised and unbearable living conditions. ‏See the link in my bio to DONATE and put in your ORDER. Kindly follow the instructions in the link , read about the people of Sistan Balouchestan and enjoy the goodness of your Persian Love Cake order. From my kitchen to your home, let’s spread the love one bite at a time. ‎ https://gogetfunding.com/baking-for-the-unforgotten-children/ Preorder deadline: OCT 4, 2020 ‏If you do not reside in Toronto/GTA and still wish to donate, you are welcome to donate any amount you like. Community is key in supporting these deprived regions so kindly share this post if you can. ‏Thank you for your kind heart. ‏Special thanks to many of the hardworking Iranian friends in Iran who have dedicated their lives to causes such as this and put up with my questions and research for the past few weeks. ‏Thank you @nik_yousefi for sharing your art with me. 🎥 @aubtin.g ‏Thank you sponsors and generous donors: @negarpanahi_realtor @chicpickcatering and @npmortgages خوشحالم که جمع آوری کمک مالی و خیریه این ماه را به یک هدف مهم اختصاص می دهم. طی چند هفته آینده پیش سفارش کیک ایرانی (Persian love cake) را تهیه می کنم و 100 درصد درآمد حاصل از این کار به ساخت خطوط لوله انتقال آب در مناطق دور افتاده سیستان و بلوچستان اختصاص می یابد. تصاویر موجود در این ویدئو مربوط به کودکان بلوچی است که در حال حاضر در شرایط زندگی بسیار بد و غیرقابل تحمل زندگی می کنند. به لینک موجود در بیو صفحه من مراجعه کرده و سفارش خود را قرار دهید. لطفاً دستورالعملهای موجود در لینک را دنبال کنید ، در مورد مردم سیستان بلوچستان مطالعه کنید و از سفارش کیک Love Love خود لذت ببرید. از آشپزخانه من به خانه شما ، بیایید عشق و مهربانی را با هنر آشپزی گسترش دهیم. اگر در تورنتو / GTA اقامت ندارید و همچنان مایل به اهدا هستید ، م

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EPISODE 12: THE DANGEROUS DOWNSIDE TO PERFECTIONISM WITH J. STAMATELOS

EPISODE 12: THE DANGEROUS DOWNSIDE TO PERFECTIONISM WITH J. STAMATELOS

Hello Friends and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

Today on the podcast, I have invited author, researcher, and coach J. Stamatelos to come on and talk about the dangerous downsides to perfectionism and the importance of self-compassion.

I first became interested in talking with J. after reading an article he wrote about perfectionism, which I thought was both insightful and full of interesting research. I knew after reading it that I just had to ask him to come on the podcast because not only do I think the need to be perfect and perfectionism are on the rise but it can actually be very crippling and incredibly destructive to a person's self-worth.

For those who don’t know J, prior to becoming a coach, he began his career in counter-terrorism and emergency response. Eventually, in his mid 20’s he started to experience internal struggles around chronically feeling “not enough”. After it almost cost him his life, J. began to notice that practically everyone around him was also struggling with the same feelings. Viewing this as a far bigger problem than terrorism, he decided to dedicate himself to discovering why so many people feel this way and what we can do about it.

After years of personal experimentation, working with clients, and digging into the research behind these issues, he has compiled his findings in a book succinctly titled, “Enough.” Spanning everything from how we were raised to economic changes in our society, J outlines why recent generations have experienced a surge in what he calls “anxious insecurity.” More importantly, he also outlines what changes we can make to break these cycles in our own lives.

Today, J. specializes in working with high-achievers who battle with feeling like they’re not enough and helps them overcome their biggest obstacle, themselves.

Also, special thanks to Mattias Friberg for composing the music for this podcast and perfecting my sound!

Author, researcher, and coach J. Stamatelos

Author, researcher, and coach J. Stamatelos


WHERE TO FIND J. STAMATELOS

WEBSITE Www.JamesjStamatelos.com
INSTAGRAM
@InnerStrengthCoach
LINKED IN James J. Stametelos


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