EPISODE 31: GROWING UP IN A CHRISTIAN CULT AND HOW TO OVERCOME FEAR IN LIFE WITH MELISSA WEST

EPISODE 31: GROWING UP IN A CHRISTIAN CULT AND HOW TO OVERCOME FEAR IN LIFE WITH MELISSA WEST

* Please Note - Some links in this post may be affiliate links *

Hello Friends and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

Today on the podcast I have invited confidence and self-worth coach Melissa West to come on and share her story of what it was like to grow up in a Christian cult, and how she found the courage to overcome her fears to leave and follow her dreams.

For over 30 years, Melissa lived in a Christina cult with no voice or power. Living under the rule of her father, Melissa was physically and mentally abused, scared, and trapped. Today, through her coaching services, she help women and those who are tired of living in fear overcome self-doubt, build confidence and find their worth so they can live their life boldly too.

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CHECK OUT THESE OTHER PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY ENJOY!

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Today on the podcast we are going to be talking about Melissa’s experience growing up in Christian cult, signs of religious brainwashing, how to overcome fear in life, reconstructing personal beliefs, forgiveness and healing.

To learn more about Melissa - CLICK HERE

I hope you enjoy this episode about how to overcome fear in life as much as I did! Feel free to leave your thought below!

Also, special thanks to Mattias Friberg for composing the music for this podcast and perfecting my sound!

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- ADDITIONAL RESOURCES -

Interested in taking Melissa’s ‘Grown Ass Woman’ 90 days course to release fear & guilt, embrace your worth & live boldly? CLICK HERE

For more information on ‘White Fragility’ Melissa recommends checking out BeTheBrdige.Com

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- Where To Find Melissa Online -

INSTAGRAM ▶ @melissalyonwest
WEBSITE ▶ https://melissalyonwest.com

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Follow The @IsThatSohPodcast On Instagram!

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If you have any comments or questions about this episode regarding Melissa’s experience of growing up in a Christian Cult, signs of religious brainwashing, how to overcome fear in life , reconstructing personal beliefs, forgiveness and healing, feel free to leave them below!

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EPISODE 24: UNCOVERING MY HUMAN DESIGN WITH CORY RUSIN

EPISODE 24: UNCOVERING MY HUMAN DESIGN CHART WITH CORY RUSIN

Hello Friends and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

Today on the podcast I have invited transformational purpose coach, purpose in life researcher, & Human Design Integrator Cory Rusin, to come on the podcast and educate us on what exactly human design is and how it can help you better understand yourself.

Cory is a Ph.D. level researcher who combines her background in psychology with spiritual tools to empower stuck entrepreneurial women to work through limiting beliefs & patterns so they can unearth their unique gifts. Through her coaching, she helps others own their worth, develop their purpose, and confidently take the next step towards it.

Cory's insight and tips have been featured in popular publications including HelloGiggles and Yahoo! Life, as well as on multiple podcasts. She's passionate about helping female entrepreneurs trust themselves & live every day with a powerful sense of purpose.

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CHECK OUT THESE OTHER EMPOWERING PODCAST EPISODES!

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Today on the podcast we are going to be talking about Human Design - what it is, where it originated, and how it can help you reach your highest potential. In this episode Cory will also be reading my human design chart, breaking down the human design system, and explaining what it means to be a human design generator, manifestor, projector, manifesting generator, reflector etc.

To learn more about Cory or to have her read your human design chart, contact her at www.CoryRusin.com

I hope you enjoy this episode about human design and human design systems as much as I did! Feel free to leave your thought below!

Also, special thanks to Mattias Friberg for composing the music for this podcast and perfecting my sound!

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- Additional Resources -

Human Design sheds light on your psychological, emotional, and energetic makeup, giving you self-awareness and tools to align with who your soul chose to be and step into your highest potential.

It combines Hindu Chakras, Conventional Astrology, Chinese I-Ching, and the Kabbalistic Tree of Life.

If you are interested in having Cory read your Human Design Chart or Report and explain what it means, contact her at www.coryrusin.com/humandesign.

Or grab Cory’s Free Purpose Formula Guide: https://bit.ly/3nrQLrW

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- Where To Find Cory Online -

INSTAGRAM ▶ @coryarusin
WEBSITE ▶ www.CoryRusin.com

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Follow The @IsThatSohPodcast On Instagram!

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If you have any comments or questions about this episode on human design, human design types, human design systems, or my human design chart, feel free to leave them below!

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EPISODE 6: THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MENTAL HEALTH AND MENTAL ILLNESS - A MENTAL HEALTH 101

EPISODE 6: THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MENTAL HEALTH AND MENTAL ILLNESS

- A MENTAL HEALTH 101 -

Hello and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

So today on the podcast I wanted to talk about the difference between mental health and mental illness as well as do a little mental health 101 download.

I think most of you will agree with me when I say that in recent years, mental health has become less of a taboo topic of conversation and although I am personally extremely happy about this, there is still so much information that needs to be discussed to fully understand this topic. Most people have a general understanding of what mental health but a lot of the time they are also unclear of what is fact versus fiction

I for one am constantly trying to learn more about mental health so that I can be a better advocate and educator on the topic, and one of the ways that I think we can all start to better understand it is to breakdown the differences between mental health and mental illness. Okay?!

Let’s get started!

Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

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DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MENTAL HEALTH AND MENTAL ILLNESS

Mental health is the health of your mind. Everyone has to look after their mental health just as they do their physical health.

“There is no health without mental health.” - World Health Organization

So, what does this mean? Well, it means that during the course of everyone’s lifetime, everybody will struggle or face challenges pertaining to their mental well-being but not everyone will experience a mental illness.

When we talk about mental health we are talking about emotions, one’s ability to problem-solve, to cultivate social connections, and to understanding life and the world around them. Just like our physical well being, our mental well being will be impacted in various degrees if we do not take care of ourselves by getting proper sleep, eating a balanced diet, or dealing with stress properly for example.

The length of time associated with poor mental health also varies. It can last for a short time or a long time depending on how quickly one can address, fix, or find ways to cope with the problem at hand.

Some people with mental health issues find that their experiences actually help them to become more compassionate and empathetic towards others while also make them more artistically inclined, grateful for what they have, and better able to understand and help others around them.

Mental illness, on the other hand, is exactly that, an illness. Although generally, the term is used to describe a variety of experiences that affect the way people think, feel, behave, interact with others, and their ability to live their life. The varieties of mental illness and the degrees to which people are affected by them are also quite broad.

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TYPES OF MENTAL ILLNESS

• Mood disorders like depression which affects the way you feel about yourself, others, and the world around you, and bipolar disorder which affect your mood and the way you process emotions.

• Anxiety disorders which cause you to experience unexpected anxiety or to become fearful of situations or events that most people consider normal. Anxiety disorders are actually the most common type of mental illness and include panic disorder and post-traumatic stress disorders.

• Psychotic disorders like Schizophrenia affect your ability to sense what’s real and what isn’t and thus make it difficult for those suffering from this type of mental illness to think, speak and interact in an organized way.

• Eating disorders like anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating all involve a distorted body image which has an adverse effect on how you manage food and weight. These disorders are much more than about food though, they also have a lot to do with how one feels about themselves and how they are able to cope with their feelings. In Canada, about 90% of people diagnosed with anorexia and bulimia are women however stats around binge-eating disorder affects men and women more equally.

• Personality disorders like a borderline personality disorder, OCD, or OCPD - affect the way you feel, act, and form relationships with others. They can also cause people to be more impulsive, inflexible come off as brash, or even pushy.

  • People who experience hoarding and the inability to throw away items from their homes are often categorized as having a personality disorder.

  • People living with BPD feel like there's something fundamentally wrong with them—and often experience extreme changes in their moods, have a hard time controlling impulses, and experience extreme peaks and valleys of both highs and lows. They also may have a hard time trusting others and yet may also become very scared of being abandoned or alone. Further, symptoms of BPD often fall into 5 groups - unstable behavior, unstable emotions, unstable relationships, unstable sense of identity, and awareness problems. According to American Psychiatric Association about 1% to 2% of the general population has BPD but according to the American Psychiatric Association statistics - most people with BPD actually find that their symptoms become more manageable as they get older, and some according to the Canadian Medical Association Journal, can even recover.

• Substance abuse disorders or more commonly know as addiction start to form when someone becomes dependent on a substance such as alcohol, tobacco, or hard drugs.

• Dementia - the loss of memory, judgment, and reasoning, along with changes in mood, behavior, and one’s ability to communicate is also considered a mental illness. Dementia happens when someone experiences a severe loss or deterioration of brain cells and other illnesses like Alzheimer’s disease also fall into this category.

• Learning disabilities like Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can also be considered a mental illness as it affects your ability to focus your attention due to hyperactivity, which is when you become easily over-excited.


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1 in 5 people currently suffer from a mental illness

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Photo by Devin Avery on Unsplash

COMMONLY IMPACTED GROUPS

Youths - During a time in their life where they are experiencing a lot of changes both physically and socially, many youths go undiagnosed because their parents, teachers, guidance councilors or whoever, categorize their behavior as ‘just a phase’ instead of recognizing that there could be a real serious problem at hand. Because of this, a lot of them do not get the help or treatment they need to properly deal with their illness.

Refugees - mostly as a result of the stressful events that forced them to flee their homeland and the difficulties involved in moving to a new country. Many refugees experience higher rates of mental illness such as depression and PTSD

People with disabilities or chronic illnesses are also at a higher risk of experiences anxiety and depression because of the chronic pain, and stress that comes with challenges they face on a daily basis living with a chronic. 1/3 people with chronic illnesses tend to also experience depression.

People of Aboriginal descent - Reasons for this trend are believe to be complex and connected partially to their history and environment. May aboriginal people experience higher rates of depression, suicide, post-traumatic stress disorder, and substance use problems.

Women are more likely than men to experience a mental illness however this can be due to the fact that women are often more likely to seek help. Men, on the other hand, more commonly experience problems with substance use.

The Elderly are also at an increased risk of mental illnesses like depression and anxiety disorders because they tend to face serious health problems and are at a point in their lives where they are loosing loved on. Further, your chances of developing an illness like Alzheimer’s or dementia increases as you age.


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“In 2009, about 3% of Canadians aged 12-19 said they experience a mood disorder and about 4% said that they experience an anxiety disorder.” - Here To Help

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DIFFERENT TYPES OF TREATMENT

Most people use a combination of treatments to help them deal with a mental illness like:

• medication

• counseling

• support groupS

• light therapy

• regular exercise

• self-help practices.

Recently I also learned while listens to an episode of Goop’s podcast that Ketamine is also being used now to treat depression which was very interesting.

CLICK TO LISTEN TO GOOP’s PODCAST ON THE USE OF KETAMINE ASSISTED PSYCHOTHERAPY TO TREAT DEPRESSION

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SIGNS OF A MENTAL ILLNESS

Identifying whether you or someone you know is suffering from a mental illness can be tricky because symptoms can look different from person to person and range in severity. Your best bet in identifying whether you or someone you know has a mental illness is by paying attention to a change in the way you or they think, act, and feel .

For example, if you:

• no longer find interest in activities you once enjoyed

• inability to complete daily tasks

• find yourself getting angry or sad for little or no reason

• experience mood swings

• feel numb like nothing matters

• have strange thoughts or voices that you can’t seem to get rid of

• feel sick constantly or have little to no energy

• have feelings of helplessness and despair

• experience changes in eating and sleeping habits

• start to form explainable fears about things in your life that are otherwise easy for others to cope with

• decrease attendance at work or school

• substance abuse

• start self isolating

• start to have suicidal thoughts

• lash out at friends and family members

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ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

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All in all, people who live with mental illnesses are not bad people. A lot of people with mental illnesses feel like they have to constantly apologize or hide their existence but feeling shame for having a mental illness helps no one.

Before you go I also just wanted to reiterate that people living with mental illnesses can and do go on to live full lives often accomplishing great things. There are so many celebrities who have opened up about their mental illnesses include Kendall Jenner, Adele, Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, Lena Dunham, Dakota Johnson, Demi Lavoto, Emma Stone, Ellen DeGenerous, Dwayne Johnson, Lili Reinhart, Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber, JK Rowling and Kristen Bell, just to name a few. Those who seek treatment for a mental illness by talking to a therapist, I believe, actually become better communicators and are able to recognize and describe what emotion or feeling they are battling with. This, I believe, leads them to become great song writers, artist, authors, and even athlete. Living with a mental illness is not the end of the world even though it may seem like it. With the right help and treatment, many of us living with mental illness can live a productive and happy life.

All right, well I hope you walked away from today with some fresh insights and I just wanted to let you know that you can still sign up for my mental health challenge if you haven’t already!

If you have any comments about this episode please feel free to leave them in the comment section here!

Alright! I wish everyone a great week and I’ll see you again next Monday!

CIAO!

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EPISODE 5: HOW TO ATTRACT THE RIGHT PARTNER

EPISODE 5: HOW TO ATTRACT THE RIGHT PARTNER

Hello and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

Today I am coming to you from the comforts of my at-home walk-in closet which I have now dubbed COVID studios. LOL

In today’s episode, I wanted to talk to you about relationships and how to attract the right partner.

Obviously, relationships can play a huge role in a person’s mental health and so I think today’s topic is one that many of us can relate to.

Even if you are in a relationship, there will probably be some solid insights and good reminders in this episode to help you approach your current relationship in a healthier way, so please be open-minded.

All right?! Beautiful! Let’s get started!

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“I feel like everyone is trying to find or attract their twin flame without realizing that you have to make sure you are burning first, that you are a flame, that you’re own self worth and self-value are high, that you love yourself first. Then THEY will find YOU. Find yourself first. No one is attracted to ashes.”

— Jordan Flesher

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Obviously you want a partner that brings out the best in you but attracting the right partner actually has more to do with how you treat and honor yourself than it does with finding that perfect person that clicks with you. First, you need to work on yourself and make your flame bright before you can attract a partner. How do you do this? Well, the key to attacking the right partner is to first establish your own self worth and confidence.

Self Worth and Confidence:

• Be good at something - people are naturally attracted to people who are successful and motivated. If you have something going for you that you are really good at, people will admire the dedication and skills you have. Having something that means something to you, that you pursue seriously and do really well at, is going to give you confidence and be a source of self-worth.
  
  

• Laugh at yourself - being confident and having self-worth also means you can acknowledge your own quirks and laugh at them. Being able to laugh and not take yourself so seriously makes you fun to be around and will make everyone enjoy your company even more!
  
  

• Respect yourself, take care of your health, put yourself together, be productive - practicing self-love is not only good for your mental health but it will help you build up your self-worth. Taking the time to put yourself together and implement healthy practices like working out, setting boundaries and being productive will help you build up both self-worth and confidence.
  
  

• Have your own life and don’t make yourself always available - this is a big one because when we are excited about something, we tend to want to jump headfirst into it but in order to maintain the self-worth and confidence that you have worked so hard on building up, you also have to learn to set boundaries.

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A couple years ago, I wrote an article for Valentine's Day for one of the online publications I write for, and the whole article was based on rules of dating I learned from a book that I read by Sherry Argov called ‘Why Men Love Bitches” (click here to read the full article). The whole book is about establishing boundaries when dating as a way to maintain your own self worth and confidence. It’s actually a great book that I highly recommend everyone read, boy or girl, especially if you are not good at dating or even just want a refresher.

By Sherry Argov

Sherry Argov's Why Men Love Bitches delivers a unique perspective as to why men are attracted to a strong woman who stands up for herself. With saucy detail on every page, this no-nonsense guide reveals why a strong woman is much more desirable than a "yes woman" who routinely sacrifices herself.

Two simple concept that I learned from this book that can help you along with setting boundaries are:

• If you act like you’re capable of doing everything, you get stuck doing everything. The key lesson here being if you start to feel like you are giving more than you are receive, the power dynamic has changed and not in your favour… instead, do less. Don’t act upset just don’t give in to any more of their request and don’t go out of your way to help them anymore. If you want to be treated as an equal you must set that boundary and enforce them.

• Actions speak louder than words - an expression that has literally stood the test of time. Why? Simply, because of how much truth can be found in it. A wolf in sheep’s clothing always makes themselves known quickly through their actions. Ignoring these red flags are dangerous! That is why it is important to paying attention to a person’s actions more than their words and set boundaries as to what you will accept.

I know getting to the point where you are brimming with self-worth and confidence isn’t going to be easy but nothing worth having is. By concentrating on yourself and building yourself up, you are investing in your own value and will intern stop allowing people unworthy of your time to distract you from this effort. You will also not allow people who want to take advantage of what you have going on or that don’t take your time seriously, from disrespecting you. If you are capable of accomplishing this you should have no problem attracting the right kind of partner and building a relationship with them on a solid foundation of mutual respect. There really is no secret to dating, it all starts with you and how you show up and honor yourself.

All right, well I hope you walked away from today with some fresh insights and I just wanted to let you know that you can still sign up for my mental health challenge if you haven’t already!

If you have any questions about today’s episode feel free to leave a comment below or slide them into my DM. I wish you all a pleasant week and I look forward to catching up again next week!

Bye!

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EPISODE 4: BUILDING A MENTAL HEALTH TOOLBOX

EPISODE 4: BUILDING A MENTAL HEALTH TOOLBOX

Hello and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

Now recording live from my at home studio space AKA my closet! That’s right, we are all set up and ready to rock and roll with these episodes now!

In today’s episode, I am taking it back to the basics for a little solo session where I share some tools or ‘practices’ that I like to use to help with my mental health. I know this COVID lockdown has been difficult for many peoples mental health so I thought Id share some techniques that I have found to work wonders for me in the past so that you can benefit from them also.

All right, are you ready?

So as explained in the episode, I am going to break my toolbox down into two sections, things you have to STOP doing for your head, your body and your heart, and things you have to START doing for your head, your body, and your heart.

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STOP

• STOP beating yourself
  If you are dwelling on things you didn’t do right in the past or are blaming yourself for things that have gone wrong, you need to stop. It is time to forgive yourself and move on to be that better version of yourself.
  

• STOP playing the comparison game

  When you do this you dishonor your own journey

• STOP isolating yourself and insisting that you can fix things or recover on your own
  Although I do commend doing independent work, it cannot replace the professional guidance of a therapist, dietitian, or physician that have years of experience and training.
  
  

• STOP holding on to toxic relationships including one with yourself
  Stop putting the needs of others above yourself. Learn to say no. If you feel like you are always giving, rescuing, or sympathizing with someone else, you may also be enabling, so take stock of whether the relationship is a healthy one worth keeping or if you need to let go.

  • In order to do this you will need to set boundaries and stick to them - every time you say you are going to do something and you don’t, you are dishonoring yourself.

  • make your own mental health a priority before helping others.
    
    So those are all the things I want you to stop doing! Now the first thing I want you to START doing is …..

START

• START being kind to yourself PERIOD. You need to be more gentle with yourself and use kind words when talking to yourself. Changing your inner dialogue takes time and its a skill you need to develop but it makes the world of difference once you do
  
  

• START practicing gratitude and affirmation techniques. I know they sound really hokey but they truly do help you shift my mindset. Essentially when you put out positivity into the world, you become open to receiving positivity and it helps shift your energy from negative to positive.

  • Further practice affirmation helps to change your inner dialogue so that you can believe in your strength and capabilities again. Simply write them on a sticky note and stick them to your bathroom mirror so that every time you are in the bathroom you are reminded to practice having more positive thoughts.

    • A Few of my Fabourites:

      • I am resilient and strong.

      • I am at peace with my path.

      • Start and end each day with love.

      • I have the ability to change and control my thoughts.

      • you didn’t come this far only to come this far, I can and will keep going.

      • I wake up today with strength in my heart and clarity in my mind. The fears and shame of yesterday has melted away.

• START interact with people or close family that don’t trigger you and be a good friend to them. much like Karma, in order to bring positivity into your life, you have to put out positivity.

  • Practice acts of kindness - that includes being kind to others, lending a helping hand, being charitable, compliment someone else, do something for someone else.

  • Use social media more responsibly

    • A few of my favorite mental health accounts on IG:

      • @IsThatSohPodcast

      • @Emotions_Therepy

      • @SelfLoveSupply

      • @Thrive

      • @TheBlurtFoundation

      • @SuperSoul

      • @Prsuit

      • @I_Weigh

      • @Upworthy
        

• START asking for help from professionals - Call a helpline or find a therapist. Keeping your feelings or illness a secret doesn’t help anyone and only perpetuates the destructive cycle you are in.

  • Talkspace is an IG account that offers free therapy for anyone looking for someone to talk to during COVID lockdown.

  • Check Point Org is a site that lists all the helplines available globally so you can easily search for the number to your local helpline.
    

• START using grounding techniques to focus on the present and calm any anxiety you are feeling.

  • Essentially you start with listing:

    5 Things you see,
    4 Things you hear,
    3 Things you feel,
    2 Things you smell,
    1 Thing you can taste
    
    

• START practice acts of self-love - Listen to your body, how does it feel? Have you been treating it nicely? Did you move it today? Did you feed it nutritional things that it needs and can process?

  • Hydrating more, get outside for some vitamin D, find some healthy recipes to try, or randomly doing easy exercises like jumping jacks or go for a walk .

  • Get some rest if your body is asking you to take it easy.

  • If you have a hard time falling asleep I recommend relaxing music, or listening (Audible)/reading a book.

  • Establish a morning routine - get up, shower, get dressed, and put yourself together. Its a wonderful way to feel ready for the day and prepared for whatever it may throw at you.
    
    

• START Dance Therapy! Dance like nobody is watching! Also stretching the body is great to help with any tension you are felling or discomfort.
  
  

• START pampering yourself a little more and do something nice for yourself

  • Light a candle and using it to ignite your olfactory senses.

  • Get yourself a hair cut or take a nice long bath, whatever you need.

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PAMPER YOURSELF AT HOME WITH THESE DIY POSTS

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BE PRODUCTIVE IF YOU CAN

I know getting motivated to be productive can be hard for some people during this time but for me I find that it really helps with my mental health - Things I like to do for my head, my body and my heart are:

• Organize my mind and life - I don’t journal but I do make a tone of lists, wish lists, to-do lists, etc, which help organizes my thoughts so I can prioritize what I need to do now and feel less anxious about tackling it.

• Organize your house and go on a cleaning binge

• Organize your finances and make a budget

• Create a positive workspace that enables me to concentrate better

• Use a calendar app or agenda to plan out your day, ALL of your day.

• Keep a routine - get up, shower, get dressed, and go.

• Find ways to receive lots of small wins - do some puzzling, solve a problem, do sudoku or word cross anything to give you some positive reinforcement, and get your brain firing.

• Get crafty or learn a new skill - maybe you have been wanting to try gardening, painting, drawing, or even just doodling… Anything tactile really…. Knitting! I recently learned how to press flowers and made a card for my mom for Mother Day, and it was such fun.

• Get outside and go for a hike/bike ride, or a run. I’ve always been a big believer in the power of exercise and especially when it comes to work, I often find moments of clarity when I am exerting myself

Lastly, before I go, I also just want to reiterate to you to practice patience with yourself. You will continue to face challenges but each time you face a challenge you will grow a little. Even tiny steps forward are a step forward. You may even slip or relapse in some way because you found a trigger you previously weren’t aware of but it will also lead you on to a path of finding the root of the problem and do the healing necessary so next time its not as effective of a trigger.

Eventually you will know yourself better, and actually start to challenge yourself to step out of your comfort zone so that you can become stronger.

Alright, well I hope you walked away from today with some new tools and if you have any questions feel free to slide them into my DM. I wish you all a pleasant week and I look forward to catching up again next week! Bye!

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